Forgiving the people that have dirtied the vat has resulted in the cleaning out of the vat. I use the saying “I’m the problem” because I’m the one who needs to do the work at cleaning out the vat partnered with the Healing power of the spirit. I can’t control how others interact or what they try to throw into my vat. Forgiving them and asking the Spirit for the strength to remove the contamination in my vat to grow leads to growth and forgiveness is part of that. Both forgiving others and myself. I believe this will help here the voice of God more clearly because there is less static interfering and distracting me. As the Holy spirit helps me clean out the vat and as a result accepting, I am the problem, but Christ is the answer allows me to be in a place to grow. The vat being clean means there is less to interfere with the voice of God that is attempting consistently to reveal and share with me. Christ is with me, and therefore I’m able to face the dirt and grime in my vat and trust that through the power of the spirit it will get removed. This provides space for me to learn and grow in hearing the voice of God.

The old me was anxious, lost, frustrated, and because of many things I Isolated myself. The new me is bold, consistent, and have a deep desire to continue to be part of community. The new me has been taught the importance of consistency and showing up for yourself in devotions and prayer while also being there for others in the same way. I’ve noticed in the new me there are small changes each day that add up to large growth over time, and the grace and patience Christ has given me to steadily walk even when I do make mistakes and stumble, to get back up and keep growing and learning to be a follower of Christ.

The orphan spirit tendency that I see within my own walk with God is striving. If I am going to default into an orphan spirit, it’s striving. All of these have shown themselves in my life at some point, but striving is the one when I am living out of an orphan spirit I fall into the most. In my life, the world has shown me that if I don’t get it right, don’t do it perfectly, it directly relates to my value. Others’ expectations of me were to always be operating at 100% capacity. The moment it was nothing less, I was rebuke, conversations of how I need to be consistent all the time. It wasn’t just at school or sports, the churches I grew up in preached legalism at their worst and the Gospel of grace at their best. They were both, but it was confusing because when I would default it would be to strive to please God. If I do this, God will love me, but when I read the scriptures it’s God loves me even while a sinner He chose to send his son. God has been working in me to overcome and reassure the Sonship that He has declared over myself. I’m a work in progress and look forward to exploring this more and more over the next few weeks.

The mindset and spiritual transformation that is most challenging for me is thought transformation. It impacts my ability to hear God because I default into a way of thinking and processing that tends to be Goal or achievement based. I dislike making mistakes, always have since I was a young kid. I have a deep desire to get things right, and so when God has shared things with me for those around me, I have at times not said anything because I did not want to get it wrong. I have grown in tremendous ways, but as I have been listening for the Lord and what he must give through me, this old thought still comes up. Most of the time, I’m able to identify it and move past it because God has been working patiently with me to overcome. But I would be untruthful if I said that thought process does not linger in my mind.

Our identity as created beings changes the way we approach decisions, relationships, and/ or challenges by shifting our perspective on the people and world around us. The world is God’s creation, All of mankind is created by God, and God in his loving wisdom tasked mankind with the charge of dominion over the world but not each other. This reality forces believers to come to terms and balance that every person is loved, valued, and God’s creative process. We are simply and undeniably equal. There is not one person more valuable then another and that is freeing in the approach to decisions, relationships, and challenges. With decisions holding these truths allows us to focus on accomplishing tasks and goals with people rather than excluding them from the task. It demands we work together, while we teach, learn, and grow together. The same for relationships gives us the foundation to speak truth paired with love, be quick to extend mercy and grace, and show patience. The challenges are a place where we see our decisions founded in our reverence of Christ paired with loving our neighbor plant seeds in which we trust the Holy Spirit will eventually produce trees and vines to produce fruit. Our identity as created beings shifts us into the role of laborer of the Kingdom. There is plenty of work and we get to do the work while we cling to loving God with all we are and loving our neighbors well. In summary as created beings our entire perspective of the world shifts drastically, which when a world view shifts many changes and lots of work needs to be done.