Hey Vicente, God put this upon you, because he loves you. In my personal experience I was going through something similar were my thoughts would direct my attention so much that I would get overwhelmed by what was going around in my life. I couldn’t understand why it happened, but came to the conclusion that it was because I believed that the voice in my head was me, I would entertain the situations that my mind would attract and just ruminate. During that moment for some reason God put in my hands the blessing of the “Flower of life” or weed. I couldn’t understand during that time why I would enjoy weed so much. But it was because weed was enough for me to be able to pay attention to what I was doing, therefore stoping my mind for some time, directing it towards a single thing, teaching my body again to not get distracted by the outside (lots of videos games for me). Yes I did felt bad because whenever I didn’t have weed, my anxiety would go through the roof. And here’s the thing, only until I surrendered my thoughts to God, was able to help me. I smoked wiz Kalifa amount of weed during that time. But I understood later that it was just to stop all the momentum it had in my physical body. It was like removing and addiction with another addiction. But that’s just your next step, learn to live without the weed, which is an amazing experience. Just remember to not go too hard on yourself. Dont punish yourself, love yourself. Amen brother hope to see a message from you soon about how much better you feel amen 🙏