@Frida Lind I also have friends who are Salafi and while I love and appreciate them, they will attend festivities at the masjid I attend and teach at, but won’t pray in the masjid. Do I really want to marry someone who may possibly believe I’m ahlul bidah or not a real Muslim or that I have to fight to prove that I’m Muslim? Which, at this point, I can admit, is really just conjecture. My dad learned about him because his brother married at girl who is a family friend. I haven’t seen her in a few years, but I’ve recently seen pictures of her and she is in all black with niqab and gloves. And I say this as someone who wears a black khimar and abaya 95% of the time since I was a young girl, but that was never her. At the same time it’s very popular in the particular area she lives in for women to wear the niqab as..I guess a style or trend? I don’t think I would ever wear the niqab, but I always saw it as something sacred, not something you put on on a whim, but, again, I’m not sure. I do believe that he knows I’m not Salafi? He was talking about a Quran teacher he had who used to insult Uthaymeen and asked if I knew who that was. I don’t think you would ask a Salafi that? He also asked if O don’t eat out much because I eat halal, which is not a word I hear salafis (at least in the us) throw out in regards to food. Many believe that since the US is supposedly a Christian country you can eat any of the meat, though I see any food not slaughtered in the proper ways outlined in the religion and by a Muslim or a true person of the book as Maytah (dead meat). I can’t really speak on his character because I’ve only had three calls. He doesn’t have sisters, but he spoke fondly of his mother and it seems that he takes good care of her. He told me about how he became a Sign Language Interpreter, I feel like if you work with people with differences/disabilities you have to have a base level of empathy and kindness? He also works with kids, which I always saw as, not a requirement, but a nice to have. (He teaches kids Quran, which I also do). He told me about his pets and how much he loves animals, especially cats even though he’s allergic to them, which—I also love cats and am very much allergic. I was super nervous, especially on the initial call and he was really understanding and kind, but, again I feel you can’t really gauge someone on a phone call. Idk I’m trying hard to let go and just leave it to Allah, if it’s meant to be it will be and if not, Alhamdulillah. I’ve been making constant istikhara so I’m trying to be firm in the idea that Allah is more aware of my best interest than I am and that he will only give me goodness.

@Frida Lind Ameen, thanks for your thoughtful replies.

My name is Gwen from the United States. I hope to gain insight into myself and my values and also any pointers with my current potential. One interesting thing about me is that I am pretty tall, 6’.