Lately I have been working with my stepson using some modality work to improve his communication skills. So far it has been working, but I am amazed at how easy it is to get into structure with him and his brother compared to working with adults. Has anybody else who has worked with adolescents found the same pattern? I do not want to draw a conclusion from a sample size of two. It seems like with adults, not only do they get pulled into content, but there is also a hesitance to say what is really going on in their mind. And when they do, they preface it with things like "this might sound weird" or "you might think I am crazy." At this point, when I hear phrases like that, I know I am doing my job.

Hi everyone, I want to get anybody's opinion on reimprinting, matrix reimprinting, and projective identification. I was discussing with another practitioner who does matrix reimprinting, which I had never heard of before. He tried to explain it to me but honestly I didn't fully understand his explanation, so I'm curious if anyone can shed some light on what it actually is. I know there are different forms of reimprinting, but I'm not clear on how matrix reimprinting fits in or how it differs from what I already do. In my experience working with clients, if a parts integration is not taking, I typically do a reimprint, and that does hold and has had lasting effects. However, I love adding more tools to my toolbox, and I'm wondering: does projective identification typically lead to a reimprint, or does it just call for parts work? And what is the connection between projective identification, standard reimprinting, and matrix reimprinting?

Hi everyone, I’ve noticed many students, clients, and friends are currently balancing everyday life with caring for elderly parents. For example, I have a friend whose mum is in a care home, and I’m encouraging her to lean into her NLP tools and our coaching community for support. Asking questions like, what belief could you choose to support you during this chapter of your life? I’d love to hear if anyone has had direct experience combining NLP thinking and coaching tools specifically to support carers or grown up children walking this path. Thanks in advance for sharing your insights! XX

A lot of people claim that they can't visualize, or they claim that their clients can't visualize. Unless you or your client has been diagnosed by a doctor with aphantasia, that is 100% not true. For context, research across multiple studies puts aphantasia at roughly 1 to 4 percent of the general population. To put that in perspective, out of 1,000 people, that is somewhere between 10 and 40 people. Rare, but not zero. And for the auditory side, anauralia is the inability to produce an internal voice or replay sounds in the mind. Research also shows a connection between anauralia and aphantasia, meaning they sometimes occur together. Both are genuinely rare. The overwhelming majority of people claiming they can't visualize or can't hear an internal voice simply have not been shown how to access those systems yet. There are three things you can do. 1. Accept the premise and limitation that you or the client can't visualize and give up. 2. Use the NLP synesthesia pattern to lead them from one sensory modality to open up another. That is exactly why we have the module of behavioral flexibility. 3. Pay attention to their words, catch their preferred sensory modality and their accessing cues, and then go from there. Too many times people claim they can't make pictures in their head while looking up and using words like "see," "picture," "clear," and "bright," or claim they have no inner voice while the words they choose reveal active auditory processing happening below their conscious awareness. Use the apple test to show them they can visualize, and remember it doesn't have to be crystal clear Leonardo da Vinci type visions. Even a blur is visual. Sometimes I think when people say they can't visualize it's because they can't make a perfect picture, which can be a thread to pull on to explore if they're a perfectionist. For the internal sounds or dialogue, use the countdown test, or have them remember their favorite song and have them first hum it out loud and then have them stop humming and see if they can still hold the sound in their mind, which 99% of the time they can.

Most NLP practitioners know that state access matters. You cannot run an effective process on someone who cannot get into a workable state. You cannot anchor a resource the client cannot reach. You cannot do identity work if the nervous system is too activated to take in new information. But state is not the destination. Identity is. State is the vehicle that gets you to the work. If the identity does not shift, the state collapses back to baseline as soon as the session ends. That is why clients can feel completely transformed after a session and slide back within a week. The state changed temporarily. The identity did not move. Everything we do as practitioners is ultimately in service of that identity level shift. What most practitioners do not talk about is what sits underneath all of it at the biological level. And understanding that makes you a sharper practitioner. Lisa Feldman Barrett is a neuroscientist who wrote a book called Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain. The first lesson is titled "Your Brain Is Not for Thinking." That title alone is worth sitting with, because it directly challenges an assumption we carry into every session. Barrett's argument is straightforward. The brain's primary job is not cognition. It is not problem solving, creativity, or emotional regulation. Its primary job is to manage your body's resources so you stay alive. She calls this body budgeting. Think of it as a biological balance sheet. Sleep, nutrition, movement, and recovery make deposits. Stress, illness, poor sleep, and isolation make withdrawals. The brain runs this calculation continuously, predicting what your body will need next and allocating resources accordingly. Here is where it connects directly to what we do. Identity work requires a nervous system that has the resources to support change. When we are working at the identity level, we are asking the brain to build a new model of self. That is not a small ask. It requires the system to take in new information, challenge existing predictions, and invest in constructing something unfamiliar. A client who slept four hours, skipped meals, and walked into your session carrying three unresolved stressors is running a biological deficit before you say a word. Their brain is already biased toward threat detection and familiar patterns because those are metabolically cheaper to run than anything new. You can run a textbook identity process and hit a wall not because the technique is wrong but because the system does not have the resources to support the shift.