Erica Rose

I experienced the starting of a breakthrough this morning. I have a 45 minute commute to work. No traffic, just empty freeway and country roads. If I haven't gotten negative thoughts before leaving home, they typically happen on my way to work. It's best to use this morning's example for illustration. Yesterday I was heading to the cafeteria to get some lunch. I wasn't pleased with the menu, so I mentioned just getting a sandwich to my coworker. I have talked to a couple of my coworkers about God Tap for accountability. I have done so in front of other coworkers. When I mentioned getting a sandwich, I also said some chips would be great, but I'm not supposed to have those. One of the guys in the office said, "Oh yeah, you're doing no chips for Jesus!". I thanked him for mocking me and walked out of the office. During the first part of my drive this morning I started thinking about that comment. I started thinking about what I would say if he mocked me again. I let that roll around in my head for a few moments. Not only does this line of thinking poison my day, in my heart I have already accused him of wrongdoing before he did it. Yesterday was probably a poor attempt at humor. This guy hasn't done anything to hurt me in the past, yet here I am allowing false accusations fly through my heart. A little while later, I was still praying according to yesterday's topic as it was still on my heart. Asking God to give Him my heart first in all things. Asking for help to come to Him in all things and admitting that I don't know how to do that. I started thinking about Lot's wife. How she looked back at the city. She wasn't looking at the city for the scenery. She was looking back at the city with longing in her heart. This lead to the realization that I have used past pain to build walls. Even though it's not a new concept, seeing those walls IS new. Some of those walls I thought I had broken down years ago. Some of them were broken down, but I never let the Lord clear them away. I have been letting past pain control me. I haven't thought about it because I didn't think they were holding me back. I used them more to push me forward. To motivate me to work harder and focus more. The problem is that the "forward movement" has been because I'm running away. I know that Jesus is always with me no matter what. When it comes to the walls I've built, I need to think of it as Jesus being on the other side waiting for me to break them down. The walls just reduce the amount of love I feel from the Lord.

New comment 27d ago

Erica Rose

1 like • 27d

@Pete Grevie as a personal trainer I want to share this. The body will follow the mind. Not ground breaking or anything new to you im sure. But lets contextualize it to weight loss/working out goals. An ugly mindset will produce, ugly results. If in your mind you are working out because you dont like what you see, some of my clients have even said they hate the way they look... the results produced will also be "ugly". Even if you DO hit a weight goal, you will continue to see yourself poorly. Our thoughts are so, very powerful. Grace is a word that has been with me for many, many years now. If you feel like giving yourself grace is justifying inaction, that is not what I am condoning. I am saying you are amazing for even changing ONE action to better yourself. That is the mindset...to better yourself. If saying you are working out for the love of yourself doesn't feel right yet, thats okay. Instead, make one positive change for the creation that God granted this life experience to (that creation being you Btw) so that your body and mind can be optimal for His work to thrive. But give yourself time and love to produce results. Grace. But I see this all the time...people coming to me to "fix" the problem that is their weightand they want to attack it with fueld self hatred driving them. They tell me about how they used to look and weigh a certain number but they also hated how they had gotwen there...they had pushed and pulled and run themselves into an exhausted, unhealthy, place. Often I hear about injuries that happened. So they gave up, added more negativity to their thoughts about failure, etc. But they are back to try again bc theu just hate the way they feel again. They've created their own personal hell with themselves as the gate keeper without realizing it. The point of what im trying to make here is fuel yourself with internal Love. Love as your inner fuel will spark an outward fire producing action. I tell my clients this: SOMEthing, just ONE thing, is better than NOthing, but it starts with Love. Love really is the answer.

Erica Rose

29d •

30 DAY JOURNEY DAILY CHECK-IN

Day 4

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