Brother, there's a part of you that knows there's a greater more remarkable version within you. However, as much as the awareness is there, there's a part of you that is freaked out about the prospect of him actually becoming real. You know you have to make some wholesale changes, and do some things that are not fun, and push you way the F out of your comfort zone. But the ego seems to be the keeper at the gate and inexplicably shuts you down. Not to pull you from your dreams, but to keep you safe and to keep you within known parameters. This is the secret sauce that I too continue to work on mastering. To do things that are new, unfamiliar and what most men refuse to do. The one lesson I want to impart on you today in the quest toward reinvention is to get really clear on the identity of the man you want to be. For me, it has always been the persona of "The Remarkable Man". Who is Dwayne Klassen when he identifies fully with that persona? Who am I when I embody the energy and vibe of The Remarkable Man I know is within? What decisions does the Remarkable Man persona make versus Dwayne Klassen? What is his day like? How committed to his dreams is he? How often does he do the things that must be done to uplift and serve others? I have also another persona, it's a bit more euphemistic but it is also very real about the level of abundance I envision for my life. He's "First Klass Klassen". He's a man that knows he deserves the best of the best. He's worked hard and is living the dream. He has a high degree of delusional optimism for what he deserves and how he lives. So that's my challenge for you, what is the ultimate persona you can envision for yourself that will be the persona that can pull you and prod you through the reinvention phase you are about to embark on? I'd love to hear you comments. You've got this! Be Remarkable! Coach Dwayne

This was a question in The Remarkable Man Newsletter on LinkedIn and I thought you might relate to this. I know I did. Question: "Coach, I've gone quiet at home. Whatever I do, it's wrong. The dishes, the parenting, the way I answered a question, all of it. So I stopped engaging. I go cold, I keep my answers short, and I spend more time in the garage or at the office than I need to. Honestly, I think I'm just protecting my peace. She says I've checked out. I say I'm done being the bad guy. Is going silent really so bad if I'm just tired of losing?" - Norman S. Answer: Brother, I'm going to start by saying I know exactly where you're standing, because I've stood there myself. I know the fatigue of feeling like nothing you do lands right, and I know how convincing the silence feels from the inside. It feels like strength. It feels like you're finally putting a boundary in place. It isn't, because the resentment smoulders. And I care too much about you and your marriage to pretend otherwise. Call It For What It Is Going cold is not a boundary. It's a withdrawal. A boundary says, "Here is what I will and won't accept, and here is what I'm going to do about it." Silence says nothing at all. It leaves her guessing, and it leaves you with the story that you're the one who has been wronged. That story is where the trouble sits. When you decide you're done being wrong, you quietly hand your power to the very person you feel powerless against. You have made her behaviour the author of your behaviour. That is victim energy, even when it wears the costume of a calm, composed man who just doesn't engage anymore. You said you're protecting your peace. Look closely at what that peace costs. Silence doesn't protect a marriage, it starves it. Every night you stay cold, she learns that reaching for you gets her nothing, and she either pushes harder or she stops reaching altogether. Either way, the distance grows. Why Good Men Go Quiet Most men who end up here are not lazy or unfeeling. They are usually conscientious men who hate failing. When they feel like they are failing at home no matter how hard they try, the nervous system picks the fastest exit from the pain, and that exit is shutting down.

Brother, I'm sure you've watched a few videos and maybe even throw in a prompt of two to AI to give you the secret sauce on changing the calibre of your relationship or your life. Yes, by now you know the distinction from being the "Nice Guy" and being a "Good Man". However, most "Good Men" men are still finding themselves struggling in the friend zone or in a relationship that lacks passion and sexual fire. This all comes down to a couple of factors: 1. Edge! Yes, your ability to be decisive, unpredictable, and able to communicate your values and boundaries without being a dick about it. When a man is able to hold his frame from this place, there's the secret catalyst that changes everything: 1. Respect! Once she respects you, desire is assured. That desire creates the sexual polarity you both crave. When this happens you are "The Bad Boy" with heart in her eyes. You can be a good man until you are blue in the face, but you'll lose the essence of the man you are in the process. Being a good man with an edge, well that's the fuel for attraction. That's the essence of a Remarkable Man! You've got this! Be Remarkable! Coach Dwayne What are your thoughts? Leave a comment.

Brother, if you have not hit the open road in some time, I highly recommend it. Whether you are the driver or riding shotgun, it really doesn't matter. Just pick a destination and go!! I'll be honest, it has been awhile for me. But I decided to make the trip from Vancouver to Calgary with my Dad for the weekend. It's my Mom's 90th Birthday Sunday so it's kinda a big deal. My Dad no longer can do airports and lineups, so the road was the only other option. The truth is, being behind the wheel is my happy place. I use to do this trip in one shot, doing the route as quickly and efficiently as I could. Minimal breaks and pit stops. Every semi truck, UHaul or RV I could pass was a point and another win! So taking long breaks meant those slow vehicles would eventually pass me and I'd lose ground. Today, I still like to be ahead of the masses, but the highway has improved dramatically that passing is now so much easier, and travelling with my Dad extended the trip to two days. So I'm actually enjoying the ride so much more. The journey I am referring to is truly uniquely a Western Canadian one with our vast distances and single lane highways that make road trips so rewarding. However, where ever you find yourself, I'm sure you have the equivalent in your part of the world. Whether you are in a relationship or not, either make it a couples thing or a bro thing, even rent a car if you don't own one. But have a conversation and say, "You know what, It's been awhile since I've been on a road trip...Let's drive to ????? Next weekend. Make it happen. It's good for the soul! Coach Dwayne PS The Short Video is us driving through the Canadian Rockies.

Years ago I had a vision of what it would be like to slow travel Europe. I got very detailed as to what it could look and feel like. A fun fact about me is I love trains. Okay, it's a bit of an obsession with me. I dreamed of traveling Europe, especially Switzerland by train. I wanted to ride on every iconic train I fantasized about since I was a kid. Well, two years ago I was able to make that dream a reality. In fact, I got to spend a whole year travelling the UK, Europe and Turkey. No timeline, no agenda. No tourist cliches. However, it wasn't all sunshine and skittle rainbows. I hit some challenging times along the way. I had a couple Dark Nights of The Soul over there in my quest to find what I was looking for. As glamorous and epic many of my adventures were, I was also running from a part of me that I thought would magically go away in exploring what's outside of me. The phrase, "Where ever you go...there you are." rings so true. You can't escape who you are. So I had to deal with some challenges that were indeed not for the faint of heart. Especially being a stranger in a strange land, but it was exactly what I needed in order to deal with the parts I had been avoiding and ultimately running from disguised as being worldly. The two images in this post is an example of hitting the goal, but accepting a bit less than what I envisioned. I made it to Lake Lugano Switzerland and to Lake Como in Italy. If you know....you know. Being there was a dream I always had. I imagined sipping a cappuccino, a stylish linen suit, the lake in my view, and that feeling that "I made it!" just like in the AI version on the right I just created. Well, I ended up getting there in the month of February. Yeah February! It was still beautiful and mild, and I had a great time. But it was not the vision I had for myself. I accepted a reasonable facsimile of my dream, and tolerated a muted version of my goal. I had to look at all areas of my life where I was accepting dumbed-down versions of my highest vision. That insight was not to my liking.