Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
I hope you are having a beautiful, sunny Sunday like I am here in Thunder Bay. In our last study session, @Magdalena Deighton read Autobiography in Five Short Chapters, and everyone loved it so much that they asked for it to be shared. Please see it below: Autobiography in Five Short Chapters By Portia Nelson (with an evolved reflection on self-compassion) This passage, first published in Portia Nelson’s 1977 book, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery, has become a cornerstone in personal development, recovery work, and transformational coaching. It offers a poetic map of human growth — from unconscious patterns to self-awareness, from self-blame to personal responsibility, and ultimately, to freedom of choice. Over time, teachers, healers, and guides have expanded the meaning of this piece, adding a valuable insight — a ‘Chapter 3.5’ — where we learn to release blame entirely, not just for others but also for ourselves. We recognize that the hole is neither good nor bad; it is simply a place we visit. And from that place of neutrality, we discover that the path forward is no longer about avoiding the hole at all costs — it is about knowing we are always free to enter, leave, or walk away. Chapter 1 I walk down the street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am hopeless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter 2 I walk down the same street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I’m in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. Chapter 3 I walk down the same street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there. I still fall in — it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my own fault. I get out immediately. Chapter 3.5 — The Insight I walk down the same street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it. I fall in, but this time something is different.