Teacher once pulled me aside and said ‘the past doesn't matter only the future.’ Absolute legend. I had a double period of History next so I took his advice and bunked off!

Team Cat for me. I’d much rather have a selfish roommate who ignores me than an over-friendly licking machine with dirty paws and smelly breath. At least a cat has the decency to only pretend to like me when it's hungry.

Helped orchestrate a Valentine’s Day serenade with guitar, violin and Yellow by Coldplay. Full rom-com stuff. They broke up two weeks later. I no longer accept musical requests.

Pure convinced Silicon Valley & TfL are in a secret alliance. They’ve turned London into a minefield of chips where the battery 'over-dose' analyzes your fingerprint till it dies the second you hit the Congestion Zone. Then you’re stuck with an £18 fee and those 'Ice Agent' short cables that snap if you even look at them—costing more than the sweat off a Bitcoin. I’m sticking to the finger scanner though... thief can stitch a finger back on, but they can’t stitch your head back on just to bypass a toll! Total rip off.

My mom treats her designer Italian furniture like a shrine. We aren't allowed to sit 'inappropriately' in case we bow the cushions and if the blankets aren't replaced to showroom standards there’s hell to pay. We're basically the Addams Family if they all secretly wanted to dispose of each other... none of us even look alike (pretty sure my sisters the milkmans) and moms the only glue holding the museum together.