This is SO true. I heard a speaker touch on this subject at a convention a few months ago. In recovery we are learning to get to know ourselves truly without our habits and coping mechanisms / behavior while in addiction. In a way we have to grieve our old selves and be willing to let go of our old familiar identity. The way we were in addiction was a protective shell and a survival tactic to get through the situations we put ourselves in. Sometimes I miss that person even though I don’t want to BE her again. So much of my identity WAS that lifestyle. It’s insanity to feel like I miss that lifestyle but sometimes I do and it’s a reminder of how cunning this disease is. I can say I really enjoy watching people grow in this program and sometimes I look back at old pictures of myself and it shows how far I have come. Getting to know myself for who I really am without drugs has made me feel like a child again. I started using when I was like 16-17 so it’s been a LONG time since I felt this way and it is so wholesome and amazing. I have discovered so many things about myself since getting clean. I have discovered new interests and hobbies. The “boring” feeling was there in the first year but I have come to truly enjoy the peace and simplicity that this program has brought into my life. When I was using I used to pray to god for simple things like the ability to sleep in a bed or having food / a place to live / a job etc. whenever I feel bored in my life I remember that these things I have I once prayed to god and would have done anything to have. I try to practice gratitude in my moments that I’m feeling bored. I don’t know what kind of person I am trying to become but the growth and change has been happening without my permission through true surrender to my higher power. I want to be a trustworthy, honest and productive person and I can say that has absolutely happened. I owe every bit of growth to this program and god! There is so much more to come this is only the beginning!