I just joined and wanted to say hello to everyone

(SORRY FOR LONG MESSAGE! But it’s a love letter to life) went right for parties for almost a week, went for movie , saw them , drinking , partying. guess what- none's real , yesterday was my birthday, partied all day long saw all type of people thought I had myself a date. was excited about it. girl left me stood up. I already told myself that day "nothing gonna happen" and nothing did happen. did I get sad?- no did I wish for it to be better- obviously, i wanted that pleasure of taking only girl who gave a gift for my birthday to a date i was home around 7:30 i waited , i waited long for about 3 hours , no one at home all those party noises? all gone now , nothing! really felt nothing actually matters- I should be happy right? all these party stuff and meeting new people? having friends but guess what- home alone , seeing nothing but walls , wall of my room , wall of my heart , wall of my brain. finding no one to be with next to me 1 hour pass by I stopped wwaiting 2 hour passed by i stopped using all devices 3 hour pass by I.... was thinking of life , of everything that i thought had meaning. staring blankly at the wall and just thinking. "Man , 5500 ruppees for party going around doing shit and still?" at the end of day, when i return home? there's this void, there's this craving for more , just one more party or this date i could had, but wait... if 5 party didnt fix it , nor this date will , nothing fills this desire unless you are with someone you truly give life in your heart oh that what they feel? party around , fuck around , playboy , play girl , move around in their day and when they reach home , just so that they don’t wanna face this meaningless result , they use their dating apps and mobile to fill the voids." I turned my lights off looking into abyse a wave of wisdom flew at me "If i had water name "party and fuck buddies", at the end of day , that would evaporated from the "meaningless realisation and dark empty room" lava. no matter how much it is , always empty and vaporate."