10 days in, and I’m feeling good, not great. This challenge has shown me that I’m ready for more difficulty in my life. This year, with the tools I’ve learned from all of you, I’ve been able to greatly reduce, if not completely eliminate, the made-up difficulty that existed in the six inches between my ears. I’m ready for 75 Hard after this. What changes have I seen in myself?- This challenge has kicked me into four-wheel drive. I’m no longer just going through the motions on autopilot. Every movement and action feels intentional, which has helped me become more present. I’m not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. That doesn’t mean I’m so tunnel-visioned that I ignore what’s ahead; it means I trust myself. If something goes off the rails and I need to call an audible, I’ll shift my defense from zone to man coverage, sorry to the sports-illiterate guys, adjust, and be just fine. Physically, I’ve also noticed the alcohol bloat is finally gone. I’m starting to see a body I recognize as the real me, and I’m excited to get this Bugatti back to race-ready. Spiritually- Ole’ Patches @Patrick Antrobus literally fucked up my brain this week. I love that he is so disciplined that he obviously only checks his phone on occasion. He was a few days behind all of us addicts on commenting on last weeks check in. His message, that I will repost for reference, was the first time I have honestly ever felt 100% seen and appreciated. I needed that to give myself permission to recognize there is good in me. I took a screenshot of it and have it in my favorites so anytime I doubt myself, I can read someone’s real words to fight Bully Mike that lives in my head. Thank you so much for that gift, Patches. Means the world to me. Where did I fall short this week?- No strikes, so as far as the personal challenge goes, I don’t feel like I fell short. However, my partner picked up his second strike. I own part of that. I wasn’t the brother I needed to be. I didn’t recognize what he needed from me, whether it was encouragement or just a smart-ass comment to keep him accountable.

My challenge this week was the cold plunge. My shower in the summer never gets as cold as I want it to be. I’ve been buying bags of ice and filling my tub up. Other challenges I’ve noticed is how it’s seem I finish everything so late. I drive a lot so I’m always looking at my steps a few nights I had to walk the neighborhood. I bring my book to work daily and any chance I get to get a few pages I do. Like today. I was working up my Lafayette and got a chance to see my daughter. I had to wait to she got back from running errands I got 6 pages read. I’ll finish my 4 pages in a few and get some ice for my cold plunge. I’ve noticed my eating habits by tracking everything. I’m choosing not to eat and making better decisions on what to eat. Just realize how much grazing I do when it comes to food. I’m home now and keeping it short so I can spend some time with Jody.

Beyond learning that I’m a shitty date, the biggest change for me is realizing I can tell you guys anything and I’m not going to be judged for it. I’ve also been more consistent with both diet and exercise. Today marks 16 weeks since I gave up sweets and Diet Cokes. This is by far the longest I have gone without either one. And it shows, as I am now 22.8 pounds lighter than I was when I first gave those things up. As I mentioned before, I fell short this week by logging onto Facebook from my phone. I didn’t even realize I did it till I suddenly looked down on my phone and thought “Oh look, Facebook is wide open… well, since I’ve already got a strike against me, I might as well take a look and see what’s going on.” Now that I’m on Hulu again, I wish I could log back on again to see what people said about it. Oh well, their comments will still be on there when I can. I went above and beyond by incorporating HITT movements into my cardio workouts. As in, I’ll walk on the treadmill for 2 minutes at 2.6, and then up the speed to 5.4 for a minute; then back down to 2.6 to catch my breath and lower my heart rate. Back and forth, increasing how fast I run each time: 5.6, 5.8, 6, 6.2, and yesterday I got up to 6.4 (and my heart rate was 154 after a minute). I’m trying to increase how fast I run and for how long, and decrease the recovery time in between (I wait till my heart rate is 120 or below before running again. — This is a bit of a double whammy: I believe it’s a better way to strengthen my heart and increase my lunge capacity, but for whatever reason, my watch never logs as many miles as the machine does, so I always end up walking a bit further to get my steps in. I’m definitely continuing on with the no sweets and/or Diet Coke (despite the fact it’s not really a part of this challenge), as well as working out on a consistent basis. — The other thing I’ve accomplished since starting this challenge has been writing over twenty thank you notes with 20+ more to go.

Physically I’m noticing a more vascular appearance, particularly in my biceps. Definition is slowly returning. My cardiovascular health is rising quickly, which is a relief considering how thoroughly I’ve neglected it over the last 5-6 years. A long way to go until I feel I’ve arrived at adequacy, but I’m happy with my progress thus far. Mentally, I’m experiencing an odd combination of awareness with my shortcomings, and giving myself grace for having them, accompanied by a quiet determination to improve. Giving myself grace increases the likelihood that I will continue to permanently integrate positive changes- the negative self perceptions, even if fleeting, have a way subtly draining resolve overall ime. I perceive this as part of a spiritual development as well. This week I fell short last Tuesday, when I did not finish my reading until just after midnight. My relationship with time has long been problematic. I used to solve it by simply working through the night, for days at a time. I’m still finding it a challenge to reconcile my understanding of time as an illusion with the conditions of my reality making inattention to time unsustainable. And ultimately, I will have to abide by the external constraints of time if I am to build the reality I wish to experience. For some this is likely a simple realization, but for myself I have thus far built a reality where I can largely pick and choose when, where and how I abide to time constraints, and I’m coming to accept that that habit has been to my detriment. Holding myself accountable and facing such aspects of where I am right now is going above and beyond- precepts are perhaps most meaningful when no one is watching. I’ll likely continue to cold shower and maintain more attention to my cardio. Long cardio as opposed to hiit alone will bring me the most long-term satisfaction physically. While I do not yet have specific athletic goals in mind beyond gaining muscle and lowering bf %, I believe I’m moving closer to being ready for those goals when I decide to set them. I’ll also likely keep and continue to add to the base nutrition protocol I’m developing, which should aid in long term macro regulation.

The biggest change I'm seeing is how I eat. I always thought I was dialed in with my nutrition, but tracking has really shown me now many extra calories and carbs are stacking up with small snacks here and there. I'm now passing on little treats solely because I don't want to look up the macros. I'm down 10 pounds in 10 days. All thats left are these pesky love handles! I fell short twice this week with reading. I missed out on quality pre-sleep time with Liv because I had to hammer out ten pages which easily could have been done earlier in the day. Both times I was under a little influence and not getting the most from the reading. Above and Beyond is the steps. I've added the weighted vest to most of my walks. I will continue to eat better after this challenge. I've done a handful of different challenges and I always carry on the easiest aspects. But this time I'm going to carry on the hard one. It helps that it's the one showing me the most benefits. One more note, no social media has been much easier than I thought! I'm also hugely feeling less anxious. However, I am still craving that cheap dopamine. Without social media and snacking I've found myself obsessing with upgrades to my truck. While more productive than scrolling, I need to alchemize this into something that is more productive in moving the needle forward. I constantly find myself asking if this is distraction or aligned action, and sadly it's still too often a distraction. Awareness is the first step! I'm in for 75 Hard with Mike after this challenge. It'll be my third round, but I'm ready 💪