I also want to add that sometimes believing in something- whatever religion or belief it is- makes it easier to have faith in the uncertainty.

@Faye Matt I really like your perspective on this, especially how you connected prayer to acceptance and cognitive restructuring. That was exactly what I was thinking when I mentioned spirituality and uncertainty — that for some athletes, spiritual beliefs can provide a sense of trust, grounding, and meaning when outcomes feel outside of their control. I also think when you have faith in something, it can feel like someone has your back no matter what, which can make it easier to let a higher power carry some of that worry and take some weight off your shoulders. Prayer and spirituality can help athletes shift their focus from fear and uncertainty back to presence and purposeful action while still aligning with their personal values and beliefs.

Small language shifts can change how athletes interpret stress from "threat" to "challenge". "I'm nervous" to "I'm excited/ready"- this keeps the arousal but frames it in a useful energy "I have to perform" to "I get to compete"- this shifts pressure into an opportunity "Don't mess up" to "Execute my plan"- this moves from avoidance to approach focus "This is too much" to " This is a challenge I can handle"- this builds perceived control "What if I fail?" to "What can I learn or do next"- this keeps attention on growth and action The goal is not removing stress - it's more about labeling it as helpful activation rather than something harmful.

@Tanelle Smith Hi Tanelle, That's real- compartmentalizing is tough. Instead of trying to block it out, it can help an athlete to acknowledge it and shift to "I can come back to this later" or "just focus on the next play." I feel like it's not about perfect focus, just getting better at refocusing.

As a mental performance coach in a soccer setting , I've seen how reinforcement shapes behavior. Positive reinforcement is the most effective. When I acknowledge a player during film for things like staying composed under pressure or making the right decision, they're more likely to repeat it. I've also seen negative reinforcement from some coaches where players increase effort to avoid mistakes or criticism but that usually doesn't build long term confidence or consistency. One example of shaping a mental skill is teaching a reset routine after mistakes. Instead of telling a player to "stay positive", I have them practice a simple routine like a breath, a cue work (like "next play"), and refocusing on positioning. Each time the tell me that they use it in training, I reinforce it right away. Over time, it seems to become automatic during games. This shows how a mental skill can be built though repetition and reinforcement, not just motivation.

When someone shares a challenge, I can catch myself wanting to jump into fixing mode pretty quickly—especially if it feels like something I know how to help with. But I’m realizing that when I slow down and actually explore first, the conversation ends up being a lot more meaningful. It helps me understand not just what’s happening, but how the person is experiencing it, which usually matters more than the solution right away. Slowing down my questioning helps because it takes the pressure off both me and the client. Instead of firing off a bunch of questions or trying to get to an answer fast, I can be more intentional and just sit in what they’re saying. That space often leads to deeper things coming up that I would’ve missed if I rushed it. It also helps the client feel more heard and less like they need to hurry through their thoughts. I’m working on being more comfortable with pauses and trusting that I don’t have to solve everything right away for the session to be effective.

@Timothee Maloney Hi Timothee, I like how aware you are of that balance—it’s real. A lot of us are thinking about solutions in the background while we’re exploring, so you’re not off base at all. If anything, it shows you’re engaged and trying to help. The part you pointed out about slowing down is key though. When we move a little too quickly into “figuring it out,” we can miss what actually matters most to the person—like how they’re feeling or what the situation means to them. And sometimes the first thing they present isn’t even the core issue. I also think what you said about open-ended questions and letting them fully explain themselves is huge. That space is usually where the deeper stuff comes out. It’s less about asking more questions and more about asking the right ones and then actually giving them time to sit with it. It sounds like you already have a strong foundation with that mix. It seems like you’re just working on slowing things down and being more intentional with your pace.

My role as a Certified Mental Performance Consultant (CMPC) is to help your athletes get out of their own way and perform at their best when it matters most. I focus on building things like confidence, focus, and the ability to handle pressure so they can stay consistent from practice to competition. I’m not here to change how you coach, but to support what you’re already doing by giving your athletes simple, practical tools to stay mentally strong, communicate better, and compete with more confidence.

@Tanelle Smith Hi Tanelle, This is really well said—it’s clear, relatable, and does a great job explaining your role in a way coaches will understand. It comes across as supportive and professional while still being easy to connect with.