It has taken me a bit to get to this race reflection. I have been struggling over the past 2 weeks to come up with the words to describe how I felt, and my take aways from the race. I finally got to connect with Goldstein this morning and continue my clarity for this experience. From a pure race perspective... I set a freaking 50 min PR and the conditions were far from perfect. 3 Foot Rolling White Caps on the swim, 95 degree sunny heat on the run.. But it was exactly how it was supposed to be. It was the perfect culmination of the truth is in the training. The past 6 months leading up to the race have been far from ideal conditions. My dad diagnosed with a rare cancer, my cousin diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer (treated and gotten the all clear), my father in law getting diagnosed with colorectal cancer, and becoming a new dad. Far from ideal circumstances to train for another major race. And that didn't include the fact that my dad planned to host 70 people at the house the weekend of the race for a Billy Joel Cover artist. I had every excuse in the book to chalk this race up as a loss, and throw in the towel before it even started. But... This year was different. I had a plan. It was Saturday before the race, I went for a 30 min ride and came up with my mantra for the race -- "Calm and Confident". I knew what I had to do, I knew that I could do it.. no matter what got thrown my way. The day before the race I felt this calmness come over me, I just felt great. I had shown up for myself, my family, my wife, and my daughter for the past month, and I knew that the race was going to be a pure celebration. A smile on my face from beginning to end, no matter the circumstance. And that is exactly how it turned out. I trained for 7 minutes in open water this year. No... Turning my head into a 3 foot roller was not something I had practiced, but I adjusted on the fly. I took a punch and realized that I needed to sight every breath or go into a breast stroke to catch my breath, but keep moving forward. Slower than last year, but we got it done, and i felt SO STRONG the whole time. There was never a doubt.

Sitting on the back porch with my wife and daughter. It wasn’t a perfect morning, just a real one. And in that moment, I felt it. Peace. Presence. A perfect moment. Lately, I’ve been journaling more about my core values as a way to anchor myself. Life has been moving fast, three members of my family were recently diagnosed with or are being treated for cancer. I’ve been pulled between caregiving, new routines as a dad, and building a business. It’s been one of the most challenging stretches of my life and somehow, one of the most clarifying. In the middle of all that, I’ve kept coming back to these: Growth. Determination. Family. Consistency. Purpose. These words aren't just ideals; they’re the filter I run my life through when things get hard. They’re how I stay rooted when the world feels unpredictable. Over the past month, I’ve spent hours driving to appointments. I’ve held my daughter through learning to sleep. I’ve contemplated the mortality of a family member while celebrating new life in our home. It’s been heavy, and it’s been beautiful. And in that tension, I realized something: Perfect moments don’t come from controlling life. They come from consistently showing up in the mess of it. I’ve still been able to push forward in training for my golf goals, build out my business, and stay present with my family… not because everything’s been easy, but because I’ve chosen to keep showing up, guided by my values. That’s what creates perfect moments. Not perfection. Presence. When I fall back on my values, I show up in alignment with who I want to be. And when I do that, I get to be fully there when those perfect moments show up—like this morning, on the porch, watching my daughter smile. I’ll keep chasing growth and purpose. I’ll keep pursuing excellence in my process. Because I know this: When you keep showing up for yourself and your values, you’ll get to be present when your perfect moments arrive.

This quote from "The Game" hits hard. Ken Dryden, the author, pleads against time to show mercy during the final months of his final season as a professional athlete. He's decided to retire, the realization of the true consequences of that decision are now becoming more clear as the time slowly ticks toward finality. No matter the outcome of the season, this is the ultimate competition he's fighting a losing battle against in the dying seconds of 'The Game.' As a historian, philosopher, and parent the idea and experience of time is of crucial importance to me. I try my best to sense time, how it shapes experience, and where I'm able to assert a semblance of control over it day by day. My best work comes during the training often, though not exclusively. Like Dryden I'm desperate to try and slow the wheel of time that churns us forward and around at the same time so that I can take it all in for memory. I want to bathe in the memory of the experience and the depth of my present realization of it determines that future experience as well. It's all connected. Today I ran fast, and that always has the ability to help me slow down time and grasp the moment. You have nothing else to focus on except pain, step, and breath, almost always that order. I get a full sense of myself, almost able to be on the outside of the experience. I'm able to 'see it clearly' for my mind's eye to create not just a memory but a deep tapestry of recall for a later experience. This then helps me find the present so I can act as I desire and live by my principles. Applying that presence today meant buying our beach pass and picking my kids up to go and swim in the lake on the hottest day of the year so far (89/33). After the run I went and signed up our family for the year at a beach close to our house and my kids school. There's nothing better than a cold dip in the Lake on a hot day after a great run, especially a fast one that makes you sweat and sweat. Time ended up slipping away from me a bit and I wasn't able to get a quick cool down in the water before having to pick the kids up from school. Instead you just sweat and pick them up so you can all go in together.

I went to the mountains Saturday for a big mountain bike ride. The mountains of North Carolina is one the most beautiful places in the world, and it was no exception on this day. We began our climb up to a trail called Heartbreak Ridge. It was my first time riding this one, and I heard it was a “death march” to get to the top. I can now confirm, about 6 miles of hike a bike…but with views like that? Worth it. On the climb up, we began encountering people trail running and quickly realized there was an ultra race going on. My friends and I laughed, as it was the same 50k we accidentally rode through last year also. For me though, something was different this year… The runners were all so friendly. We were of course offering encouragement, but every runner that passed was in such good spirits. And it was HOT, plus over 90% humidity. As one guy passed I yelled out “not a bad morning for a little jog huh?!” to which he replied “you got it man! only 20 miles to go!” As we pushed our bikes up the steep trail filled with roots and rocks, the runners passed us, one by one, smiling, cruising on their hard earned downhill. The guys I was with began the usual talk you’d expect from a group of mountain bikers encountering runners: “Fuck that!” “Why would you run out in this heat?” “You couldn’t pay me to run 30+ miles” It was like deja vu. We had the same conversation last year, and I distinctly remember joining right in. But now a different feeling came over me… I was…jealous. Here I was, in one of my favorite places in the world doing what I love doing most, and suddenly I wished I was running an ultra marathon? What is happening to me?! See, I’ve come to learn that’s what endurance training does to you. As you build a bit of a fitness base and cross some finish lines, you start to unlock something within yourself. You start to see the potential. The possibilities. It opens up a whole new world of adventure. One year ago seeing these guys running a 50k through Pisgah National Forest seemed like a pipe dream, something I could never do. Now, I know I could do that, and I’m probably not too far from that fitness level right now!

I had a 1-on-1 Coaching Call with Goldstein this morning and he hit me with a BANGER that I had to share! "Chase moments of perfection through the consistent excellence of your process" We were essentially talking about my struggle with perfection and that in the past I have always considered perfection to be hitting workouts exactly how they are prescribed when they were prescribed. But I have grown to learn that I have a flow, and that we all have moments of perfection that can be achieved through our process. It was perfect round about tonight, as I sat at Dinner with my wife and new daughter and got to enjoy a "PERFECT" moment because I showed up for myself this afternoon, got my workouts done, practiced my golf, it allowed me to find perfection. Finally, we ended off the call with a call to watch the "Perfect" Speech from Friday Night Lights. https://youtu.be/o-iPiN_YHjY?si=WvDWfkMVk79YXHFd The biggest take away from this is that Perfection is in the moments, the friends, the family, the time that you share together. Perfection is about showing up in those moments for those people and putting your best foot forward. It's not about the result on the scoreboard (for those of you that haven't seen the movie, he coaches the Permian Panthers who are down at half, but have been seeking the perfect season all year), its about being able to tell yourself, your friends and your family, that you did everything you could. I felt like this whole conversation was great to share with everyone because chasing perfection is a struggle that high performers often deal with, but we have to be able to stay present to see our perfect moments. Would love to start a thread of some pictures of people's perfect moments of late!