I have a question that I'm feeling stuck about, and it occurred to me that I could ask it here... I've been noticing how much pain and also a fight/flight response I have when I find myself wanting to do something, especially involving some kind of self-expression. For instance, even just making a social media post about something I care about and am interested in--as in, something I feel is important to me, and that I am going to share outwardly in some way. I get so triggered from within that I become stuck, tired, feeling terrible, can no longer use my mind to say what I wanted to say, or think what I was thinking--in pain--and then go into doubt about what I wanted to do. The mind activates and negatively attacks me. I feel conflicting forces in my body, and then just feel sick. I find myself unsure then of what to do. I usually don't do the thing, because I don't want to do it in that painful state. So then I say, well, I will get to it later, when I will feel better...then it comes up again later, I don't feel better...I drop it again....So do I need to be going into my pain, when this occurs? Does this happen because the thing I want to do yet then struggle "trying" to do is connected to so much pain? When I start doing it, I experience the pain--and when I stop or don't do it I feel defeated. Should I just do it anyway? Through all of this there is much pain, I am feeling this very much right now.

Most people were taught how to behave around another human being. Very few people were shown how to remain connected to themselves while another human being is present. So let us make connection a little more human. 1. The body gets to answer before the mouth does. The mind loves an immediate response. The body may need a breath first. 2. Curiosity gets the seat that judgment used to occupy. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with them?” Let the body ask, “What happened inside them?” 3. The feeling is allowed to exist without becoming a verdict. “I feel forgotten” is vulnerability. “You never care about me” is the mind passing sentence. 4. Nobody has to win the conversation. The mind wants a winner. Connection wants both human beings to remain in the room. 5. The reach deserves to be noticed. The angry text may be a reach. The silence may be a reach. The joke may be a reach wearing a funny little disguise. 6. The body does not have to perform connection. The nervous system may be quiet. The nervous system may tremble. The nervous system may need time before it can stay open. 7. Vulnerability is openness, not a confession contest. The mind can reveal every secret while the body stays closed. The body can say three honest words and open an entire relationship. 8. The familiar does not automatically mean love. The body may chase what resembles childhood. The body may overlook the human being who is actually present. 9. Connection returns to your body before it reaches another human being. The mind cannot abandon you and then demand that another person make you feel whole. The reach must find you there too. 10. Pain gets company before it gets advice. The mind rushes to fix. Connection stays long enough to feel. Pain with nobody there stays a knot. Pain that is met can finally open. Which rule made your body pause? Which rule would change the way you connect today? There is no wrong answer here. The body is already telling the truth.