Treatment #15 meaning just 3 more left! Going to spend it with some gratitude reflection on this past years journey and work on trying to finish up the book that’s accompanied me through the journey. Also, I thought I’d share the email I’ve carried along in my journal from @Philip Folsom after we had discussed the cancer treatment journey I was getting ready to embark on. Much of the email recap has offered great reminders for me as moved through this part of life.

In full war season here so perfect days are a challenge hitting but are still on the mind offering some healthy recovery and habits focus and reminders. Been a challenging week. A really close friend (and my long time ally) lost his wife unexpectedly last week. She was diagnosed with cancer only a couple of weeks before and had just begun treatment. She was a wonderful person and the 2.5hr line last night at her wake was a testament to this. My heart broke a little on this loss and it’s hard seeing my friend so devastated. It’s brought about a bunch of stuff for me given I just hit the one year anniversary on Monday of my own cancer journey. I guess in my never ending drive to pushing forward through this whole experience, it took this close hit to home to shake some stuff loose I’ve been holding and carrying on my own journey. And picking back up with my VA therapist tomorrow to continue to pick at some of these PTSD behaviors and triggers. Been a little closed off with people since I’ve begun this journey with them and dedicated to seeing this through to the other side. Will take some time to address what’s being shook loose right now while I have her ear. Business is good and slamming. Still short handed because it seems a majority of young men do not have the desire to physically work hard but we’re managing. Have another potential joining the team next week. All of the approaches, management techniques and processes I learned and developed are being employed with what I feel like is pretty good success. We’re still in the forming stage though, so the real test is still to come with the storming stage. Dedicated to this as well, but the Magician work I did all winter seems to be starting to pay off in these early stages.

It was a whirlwind business trip and didn't do shit on my perfect day. Really no excuse as I could have exercised, written and eaten better. Had the time just not the focus. Gonna remember and be prepared for the next one. Regroup and recommit tomorrow. View from the stage

Here's my commitment to myself, relationships and my business for Q2. Love any and all feedback, support and accountability 😁

I’m sitting here getting treatment #14 and journaling/ reflecting on my own Magician House heading into this month. Two reflections I’m sitting with I want to share with the group. First, for some general accountability (and to put it out into the Universe). In order for this season to be the success I want it to be these are the requirements of me: - Perfect Day (so good in off season, historically not so in season) - Discipline on schedule (I know this will equal more freedom and I need to schedule myself first into this madness for the sake of resiliency and relationships) - Strong communication (Sunday night check-ins and regular weekly staff and client project check-ins. Monthly newsletter continued commitment - let me know if any of you want to be added to my marketing list) - Commitment to follow-through. (This is in regards to design/ proposal turn around and commission work- it’s gets slowed down by me) - Mindfulness/ Presence (meditation is key- in a good rhythm now and love the emotional regulation and extra state of awareness it provides) - Proper daily preparation. (This is all about scheduling the time at the end of each day to prepare for the next one to prevent some of the unnecessary extra chaos) Second, heading into Magician- finances has bubbled to the top for me in today’s journaling. I’ve realized there’s a pattern here. (I’ve attached my chicken scratches - the IV is in my left arm today and I’m left handed lol) This is the pattern in case you can’t read it: reluctance > procrastination > pile up/ overwhelm/ cash flow crunch > push towards a “cliff”/ afraid of asking for help/ stress > last minute stressful “save” by reactive action > back to reluctance. I’m just putting it out to everyone as it feels like a profound observation that will requiring unpacking. I don’t know if this is a result of my poor upbringing, lack of financial education/ example, habits of startup business, some trauma around my previous marriage, or that dragon head of inadequacy.