I love when restaurants put "Market Price" next to certain menu items. Like ya, l've been monitoring scallop futures all week.

Now my boss is accusing me of plagiarism! Those are her words not mine!

After 15 minutes of being ignored, it's amazing how fast Lowe's employees show up when you try to start a chainsaw.

Personally, I think going to an Urgent Care is just paying someone else $60.00 to google your symptoms?

"Runaway Brides" should be called "Near Mrs." … Thank you, this is why I have a PhD.