I Failed (A Letter from a Recovering Workaholic)
4 years ago, I was sitting in a Zoom meeting, watching my boss deliver the words that would change my life forever. โWe have to let you go.โ That was the moment I knewโI was never working for someone else again. So I did what any ambitious woman would do. I went all in. I offered branding packages to local businesses. I worked as a freelance graphic designer, because I thought getting in touch with my artistic side would bring me fulfillment. I painted large murals for restaurantsโwhere I went from feeling exhilarated to feeling like I was going to pass out from exhaustion during every jobโฆ wiping the sweat from my browโฆ and hustling HARD. Then, it was music coaching. 40+ private students serviced. I let them all go because I literally could not keep up with the demand. I was at my wits end. โDo I seriously have to work like a man to get what I want?โ So I pivoted, and started selling digital products in 2024. Yielding high-cash months. I built a business from the ground up. I hustled even harder this time, because the payouts were addicting. Then, I was hired on to help manage an Inner Circle of over 200+ people. The heat got cranked up. Now, I was managing an Inner Circle, juggling my mentees, and my business. At every stage, I kept hitting the same wall. More money, less freedom. If I wasnโt working, I wasnโt earning. If I wasnโt โengaging,โ my sales were slow as molasses. If I wasnโt answering DMs like a flustered bellhop, Iโd miss out on those high-cash days I desired to have. And on top of thatโI was attracting the wrong people. ๐ฉ The ones who needed constant hand-holding. ๐ฉ The ones who werenโt serious about working with me. ๐ฉ And I cared more about their business than they did. One day, I realized: I wasnโt just a hard worker. I was a workaholic. Not because I had to be. But because I was making things harder than they needed to be. I didnโt just need a businessโI needed a system. I didnโt just need more clientsโI needed the right clients. I didnโt just need to make moneyโI needed to make money that flowed to me, without me chasing it.