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190.3k members • Free

68 contributions to Northman Coaching
R.A.G.
Thank you Gentlemen for showing up this evening. Tonight a lot of the gratitude was based on progress made over the past few meetings. I absolutely love when I can see the changes happening before my eyes!
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R.A.G.
Fear of failure
This is something that has really controlled a lot in my life. It’s actually kept me mediocre when I know I could be great. Not great like people bow down to me but great as in thriving in my life. I have all the tools to be successful in my life. I have my own Skool, knowledge and skills to make a thriving mindset business. But fear… It chains me to my own prison of my own making. Over eagerness in the past made my family and I almost homeless. Thankfully we had family to move in with when the rug was pulled out from under us. But now that pain still lives and we have no family to help us if the rug gets pulled again. And the truth is we’re drowning financially. My wife is working too much for too little and I’m stuck with kids while I’m on disability. The fear of losing my disability before I can support my family is paralyzing me. I’m stuck between panic and poverty and burn out. I know I’m good at helping people. A 20 minute conversation with a friend of mine and I helped them relax and get work done and be integrated with their motivation and stability to enjoy their vacation and still get work done without feeling guilty for either. But when it comes to putting myself out there I freeze.
3 likes • 2d
@Darren Harriman I don’t think what you wrote is weakness, it’s honesty. I would guess that you’re not afraid of failing, but afraid of putting your family back in pain. I don’t think that is mediocrity, that is a nervous system that remembers almost being homeless and is trying to protect the people you love. But let’s get real, staying frozen is also a risk. You don’t need a massive leap. You don’t need to gamble your disability or your security. You need small controlled steps. What is the smallest move you could make this week that builds momentum, without threatening your family’s safety?
Men are people too.
There was a question that brother @Gary Hults presented the other night, and I continue to think about my answer. The question was: "if your private life was projected on a screen, what would you hope no one sees?" I said that I wouldn't want people to see how vulnerable I really was, or how scared I can be....but in retrospect, does it really matter? Let people see...most people are going to see what they want to see anyway. Besides, we are all humans. Yes, we all have our differences, but we are all human. We have emotions and feelings, and us as men, usually are told to supress and supress. But what happens? The pressure gets too built up and we explode, shrapnel striking anyone in its path...wife, kids, relationships, self care, self worth, and so on and so on. For myself, there are times I get vulnerable, I do get scared, I do resort back to the 15 year old kid that didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. I do at times want to just cry and have someone give me a hug. I am a man, I am a human, and I feel. There is no shame in that. Let them see.
2 likes • 2d
@Joel Rosario I love this reflection. Vulnerability doesn’t make you weak, it makes you real. The fact that you’re willing to even question it shows strength. Let people see what they see. The only thing that really matters is that you’re honest with yourself. When a man owns his fear, it loses its power over him.
Motivated Men. Tonight at 7:00pm eastern
Tonight’s question is: if your private life was projected on a screen what would you hope no one see’s?
Motivated Men. Tonight at 7:00pm eastern
The Bridge. Where are you on it?
Another great meeting in to book’s gentleman! Thank you for showing up!
The Bridge. Where are you on it?
1-10 of 68
Gary Hults
5
236points to level up
@gary-hults-4873
Men’s coach helping men rebuild strength, faith, and identity after divorce and life transitions. Stand firm. Walk humbly.

Active 8h ago
Joined Jan 19, 2026