"You have the right to design a life that makes you feel safe." Back in 2019, my therapist told me 2 things that stuck with me over the years. First, that he wanted me to fire him. Not right then, but his goal was to give me enough life and coping skills that I wouldn't need him anymore. He was old-school and hated how therapy became this nebulous thing with no end-game in sight. "It's great for the therapist, and bad for the patient," he lamented. I knew he was the right guy for me. Second, he left me with that quote. And I have kept it with me over the years, as a solid reminder that boundaries and lifestyle design truly are the best way to have a happy and healthy life. Whether that's deciding what relationships to invest in or release, to how I spend my time, to the food I put in my body, to the things I let into my eye gate and ear gate... I am in charge and I can create something that feels safe for me. You need to understand your "why". You should be able to articulate it, not necessarily to tell others, but so you truly know what you believe and where you stand. You should be able to defend your stance, not go out of your way to explain it -- just have the sword and shield ready should you ever go to battle. At the end of the day, a life that feels safe doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built -- intentionally, unapologetically, and on your own terms.