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Think about that for a moment. I'm not here to give you the steps of how to do that. And I truly hope this title is not triggering for you. I just want to shine some love and light in this space. Where there is talk about deep inner wounds. About trauma layers that are still processing and healing. About visibility wounds. Relationship wounds. About inner child wounds. Those are all so real and hard and I've walked those paths. But I want to tell you that it IS possible to heal yourself of deep wounds. I'll tell you a bit about my PTSD journey. I sincerely hope none of this is triggering. I was stalked for 13 years by a total stranger. He was seriously delusional. He imagined that we had a relationship like Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed, her lover who died in the car crash with her. I never even called this man. He started stalking me at university, where I was studying at night while working a full time job in retail. He invaded my privacy everywhere. He showed up every where. He followed me everywhere. He paid a private detective to find out where I lived and both my parents and mine private phone numbers. And more so. So for years I wanted to be invisible to men. I dated and had serious relationships during that time, that were mostly toxic. It went on and on. Those years involved me getting restraining orders, making police reports and testifying 10 times in 10 years. Until finally a judge found him guilty. He served the maximum under the law - a whole 6 months. And then he was freed but under 3 years of probation. Once that 3 years were done, he found me online. That went on for a short time. But the big takeaway is this. I did not want to identify as a victim anymore. This is my journey: Victim -> Survivor -> Healed Yes I am healed. I did deep rituals to heal and release all that heavy energy. I went through years of therapy that never helped me, because they never identified & treated the major wound - that I had PTSD. It was even CPTSD. That went on for years.

I am just returning from Switzerland/Germany from my daughter’s wedding/celebration/family visitation, and it was emotional and overwhelming.. But I’ve decided to stop allowing her to punish me with hateful cold criticism. However if I could have had even an inch of foresight in the past, I would have SEEN but NEVER allowed her father to take her out of my life and brainwash her against me. I did some research therapy on AI and realized that she is testing me to see if her mommy will ‘abandon her again’ because I’m the one she loves the most and feels safest with. And this is so hard to deal with for me. But I have to let it go. I did my best and all I can do is pray and not try to crowd or fix her emotions nor push control of any outcomes, thoughts, or decisions. I wonder what will happen when if when she has children and I can’t be around to handle the disgust and hatred that I feel from her. It makes me angry that I had to spend time with her father and his wife and sister in my son in law’s parents’ house for 3 days, while I had to be nice and watch his and her shallow personalities and immaturity in front of everyone. It was a highly moraled, high standard, well to do family that I had to mask myself and put on my happy face for days for despite my anguish over the feeling of disgust and hatred that I received from my daughter. And much of it happened in front of everyone. I felt totally alone and rejected. I feel so much pain and guilt over the childhood trauma that i and her father caused her, yet I have to choose to have a strong boundary with her now. I’m not going to be put in a situation like this again ever, and I have to heal and pray for her healing. That’s all.

What type of vice do you have, and how is it affecting your life?

I had to put down my sick cat this past week. Grief for a pet feels as similar as when I grieved for my children living with their father when they were young