So I’ve been struggling the past couple months and can’t seem to cut off this lust thing… so last night I was in prayer, and I pictured Jesus was kneeling in front of me, he held me and I just asked for help, and it was like he reached in my chest and worked on my heart first, then he reached up and reached in to work on my brain and he was like “rewiring your brain is gonna be a process, it’s not just gonna happen. You’re gonna have to come to me everyday, spend time with me and let me work on this.” Like I spent 5 years where my brain was being wired the wrong way, it’s gonna take time to fix it, and Jesus is literally offering to do that!! Like the most important thing for us is to spend time with him and in prayer and in the word. I started to do something today and it was like he was right there beside me and with the kindest tone “Josiah, I can’t rewire your brain if you’re doing that.” And I immediately put my phone away. Like all these things can either wire your brain to him, or away from him. What you look at, what you listen to, what you read etc. we have to be so careful to focus on him and his voice cause we are surrounded by things of the world constantly.

Just to give some background: I recently came much closer to Christ after years of being on Self-Improvement. I saw the abominations of the red-pill community, so I decided to leave and focus my best efforts on Christ. I define meditation as "Mindfulness Meditation" which is focusing on your breath, trying to get rid of any thoughts that come to mind to maintain presence or "Mindfulness" throughout your regular life. As I've learned more about Christianity, I learned that Christian's don't really participate in meditation. My argument FOR meditation was that if you're able to maintain presence, you're able to feel God's Spirit better than you otherwise would. Scripture describes our relationship to God as in us moving closer or further from Him. God doesn't move, and I figured if you could be more mindful, then you can easier see your location, as in you'll move FASTER towards Him or realize you're moving away quicker. "That sounds great! What's wrong about that?" A few things. Meditation dulls life like crazy. I'm a walking testimony of this, I've meditated 100s maybe even over 1000s hours over the past 4 years. I don't really feel a lot. God calls us to put our worries and desires onto Him, but since I (talking about me just to give an example) can't do that very well, because I don't "feel" really anything. That WORSENS my relationship with Him, which goes against the entire point of me doing it. Meditation made me happier when I started Self-Improvement because I had horrible mental health, which is why I promote it so much, but I'm coming to realize that meditation isn't something Christian's are called to do. In fact, it may be sin. If you go back to the roots of meditation it's a Buddhist practice, which you can just say "Yeah but just ignore that part" (Like I did), but that's like doing Islamic rituals, but "ignoring" the Islam part. Meditation IS Buddhism, and one of the commandments is something along the lines of "You shall have no other gods before Me" (I don't have them memorized yet). Buddhism doesn't really believe in a "God", but it's still worship something that takes you away from the pain of the world, which in turn takes you away from the pleasures.