When Ben was younger, he did a lot of self-talk, especially around things he had memorized or was very interested in. In this video Ben was 11 years old and had gained a lot of speech, but was still self talking in the mix of using functional language. In this clip, he is talking about the OrGreenic pan commercial. Instead of stopping the self-talk, I tried to join him in it and turn it into more of a back-and-forth conversation. You’ll notice that after only a sentence or two, Ben tries to end the conversation by saying goodbye to me. I keep it going a little longer. There are also moments when I ask him a question and his response isn’t really a direct answer — it’s a script he remembers from the commercial. Instead of correcting him or asking the question over and over, I simply model the sentence that would fit the conversation. For Ben, joining his self-talk became one more way we could meet him where his language already was and gently help him practice more conversational language. What does your child like to self-talk about? Have you ever tried joining their self-talk and using it as a way to encourage more interaction and conversation?

One of Ben’s unique memory strengths ❤️ When Ben was younger, he loved directories. Maps, globes, road signs, landmarks, directories… anything that involved locations and information caught his attention. This picture is such a good example. Ben could stand in front of a directory like this for only a minute or two, studying it. Then we could walk away and I could ask him, “What suite is Dr. ___ in?” and he would know. Not just one name. He would remember so much of the directory. It always amazed me. For a long time, there were things that were very difficult for Ben — especially communication. But at the same time, there were these incredible abilities hiding right alongside those challenges. His memory was one of them. We saw it with directions, maps, landmarks, music, and all kinds of information that interested him. It taught me to pay attention not only to what Ben struggled with, but also to the things his brain seemed almost built to do. I’d love to hear about your child or loved one. ❤️ Do they have something they can memorize or remember that amazes you? Maybe it’s: - movie lines - birthdays or dates - directions - songs - license plates - facts about a favorite subject - maps - names - something completely different Tell us in the comments — what does their memory amaze you with?

Going to the dentist was one of the hardest things for Ben when he was younger. And I know we are far from alone in that. For many years, dental visits were extremely difficult. One thing that helped us tremendously was finding a wonderful pediatric dentist who was willing to work with Ben slowly. They allowed us to bring home a few safe dental tools so we could practice with them when there was no pressure. They also let us bring Ben into the office at quieter times when he didn’t need any dental work done. Sometimes he would simply sit in the waiting room, look around the office, or sit in the dental chair. Little by little, the dentist’s office became more familiar and less frightening. We also learned that Ben needed to know exactly what was going to happen. Even now, we talk him through the visit step by step: “First they’re going to do this. Then this. Then this.” That predictability still helps him tremendously. Bright lights can also be difficult for him, so our dentist lets him wear sunglasses during the exam when possible. Today, Ben is able to go to the dentist and tolerate his exams and dental work. He has even made it through having his wisdom teeth removed. That doesn’t mean it suddenly became easy for him. We still prepare him, explain each step, and give him the supports he needs. But when I think back to how difficult those early dental visits were, the progress really is incredible. Some autistic children need sedation or anesthesia for dental work, and every child’s needs are different. But if your child is struggling right now, please don’t assume that where they are today is where they will always be. For Ben, repeated exposure, practice, predictability, and a very understanding dentist made a huge difference. The dental struggle is very real for so many autism families. ❤️ What has helped your child with dentist visits?

One of the biggest things Ben taught me about sensory needs was to pay attention to the little clues. This photo is a perfect example. When Ben was younger, his ears would sometimes become very red and hot, and the sensation seemed to really bother him. We eventually found a hat with small removable ice packs that rested over the ears. The hat wasn’t created specifically as an autism sensory tool, but for Ben, that’s what it became. The cool pressure around his ears helped him feel more comfortable, and he also loved the pressure and snug feeling of having something on his head. Putting the hat on often helped him settle and regulate. It would have been easy to simply think, Ben really likes hats. But there was more information underneath that preference: Heat bothered him. Coolness helped. Pressure on his head felt good. Hats helped his body feel more comfortable. And interestingly, hats are still part of Ben today. He may not need his ice-pack hat anymore, but anyone who follows him knows how much he loves his fedoras. This is one of the reasons I talk so much about becoming a little bit of a sensory detective with our kids. Instead of only asking, “Why does my child keep doing that?” sometimes we can ask: “What might their body be getting from it?” For our discussion: Is there something your child repeatedly wears, touches, carries, avoids, or seeks out that you think might have a sensory purpose?

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