I'd like to be there! Missed out on the last one.

I would let go of my deeply rooted existential fear of existence. But I am already making good progress lately. Im not scared anymore that I will never be able to let it go, not hopeless like i was for a long time. Lost in the void/darkness. Right now I have the conviction that its only a matter of time and effort! 💪 Its weird I still suffer from it. But I feel completely at rest. Now being able to feel convinced that I will overcome it when the time is right. Im so convinced of that atm, that I will be able to release it at some point. That im not even in a hurry anymore to get there!

@Anita Kozlowski wow you really hit the nail on the head with your reply! Im not sure yet if that is the case for me right now. But if not now I will get there soon. Where i will wake up to the fact that there is only the shadow left of my fear. And all I need to do to feel free is to realise that and let go. Im quoting you: the fear of existence is really a fear of dissolution of that existence, which is implying the fear of the unknown... Can you read my mind? Look into my memories?! That is EXACTLY the core of my fear. I experienced first an explosion of consciousness. And after that a complete implosion/ dissolution of my perception of reality. Its what was most traumatizing suddenly feeling like reality stopped existing. In my perception of reality I was for 10 hours straight while completely sober falling into the horizon. The horizon wasn't straight anymore it was a dark abyss with no end. A big black void. And I was continously falling into that in my experience/perception of reality. There was nothing to be known anymore only falling into an endless never ending void/abyss. So yeah at its core its the fear of the unknown. The fear of forever being in the unknown/void where there is no matter and where there are no things to know or perceive. Just endless void. Anyways nice to meet you too! You have already helped me with your responses! Thank you 🫶

@Anita Kozlowski omg thats actually what I believe/ have realized now. The day I got traumatized was also the day I got a divine download. It was just too much for me. Like I experienced an explosion of consciousness. I have tried most psychedelics at least once. Especially ayahuasca was great but also tough. But nothing was as psychedelic. as the day I got traumatized. But know im realizing that curse that pure horror was a blessing in disguise. Ive had to deal with so much. But I've also been given a mind, body and soul that where born with the ability to one day be able to heal from my trauma. Im not there yet. But I can finally see it! Its just a matter of time, hard work, letting go and having faith that I will make it. Although we have lived different lives in do feel like we have a lot in common. Ive felt so alone for so long but now am starting to meet more and more people that understand me even without knowing my story in detail. Its like we can see a color that most other people cant see. Its nice to know that we are not alone in this. Im sorry to hear you have had to deal with fucked shit. And thank you for sharing. If anything you sharing that makes me feel more understood. But I do believe we are all born with the innate ability to eventually overcome and conquer anything life throws at us. As long as you just keep going and dont kill yourself. If you keep going you will one day wake up to how powerful you actually are. Im excited to join you for the event! Much love, Adam

@Anita Kozlowski im not there yet. There is still some darkness to work through for me. But I am completely convinced that i will reach that point. And when that light will shine and cast the darkness away. Will probably be the best moment of my life. I experienced a small portion of that feeling earlier today. Its only going to get better from here. Because I will make it so! Btw thank you so much for offering that event for free!!!