Jan 10 • General discussion
Russian roulette with my heart
I keep loading chances
into chambers that already know my name.
Spin the cylinder anyway because hope has always been louder than fear.
I place my heart on the table,
felt still warm from the last loss,
still beating like it doesn’t remember
how close it came to stopping.
Click.
Another promise survives.
I smile like I didn’t flinch.
Click.
Another red flag dressed as love.
I tell myself, this time feels different.
I’ve mastered the art of pretending
that odds don’t apply to me,
that faith alone can outshoot history,
that my heart isn’t already scarred metal.
But every pull leaves a bruise.
Every near miss teaches my pulse
how to brace for impact.
Even silence sounds like a gunshot now.
They say love is a risk
but nobody warns you how addictive
the adrenaline becomes
when pain feels familiar.
Still, I sit at the table.
Not because I’m reckless
but because part of me believes
one chamber might finally hold peace.
And maybe the bravest thing
is knowing the danger,feeling the weight of the weapon,and one day choosing
to set my heart down
before it learns another way to bleed.
~butterfly ~
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Russian roulette with my heart
