I had a Big revelation yesterday.
I've been a serial procrastinator and I'm still somewhat afraid of my own potential.
I was doing the bookkeeping for my business and I had a "gut" reaction when I saw bigger numbers popping up in my statements. I use quotation marks because I know now it's not my gut, it's my chest and it's fear. Fear of success much more than fear of failure.
Why you may ask?
Because I had told myself, based on mine and other people's opinions, that I was not good enough, that I didn't follow through with my plans (because of the procrastination) and that I gave up too soon.
So, it was easier to just be, to just "exist", and not show how great I can be. It was easier to dim my light and supposedly not disappoint people who weren't expecting much of me.
The problem with that is I was disappointing myself.
But that's my old self. My new identity is a positive, happy, disciplined, consistent person. I do what I mean and mean what I do.
The momentum in the "wrong" direction was quite fast and strong as I was in that rut for a long time, and the stopping and moving in the right, better direction is taking some time.
I just remind myself of that when I feel a little discouraged. I remind myself to have grace and kindness to myself and others because we're doing the best we can.
I'm so grateful my mindset has changed so much. I'm so thankful for the changes that have occurred so far and the better ones in my next steps.
I'm grateful for having found this beautiful Tribe.
You guys are great 馃憤馃憤馃憤馃憤馃憤
Maggie Alfaro
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