Confessions of an Astro-Wannabe

I’ll admit it — I love wannabes. They’re entertaining!

And honestly, I know I’m one too — part new-age wannabe, part astro-wannabe, and probably a few other kinds depending on the moon phase.

So what makes someone an astro-wannabe?

The truth is, you’re born into it. Seriously — the moment you pop into this world, you’re stamped with a zodiac sign for life. Whether the sun’s out or not, your Sun sign’s locked in, and that’s that.

“Oh wow, you’re a Pisces!” someone might say.

If you don’t know astrology, you might be offended. Like… excuse me, do I look like a fish?

But when someone says, “Ah, you’re such a Leo,” you can’t help but straighten up a little — until you realize they meant your star sign, not your glorious mane or regal posture.

Being a Virgo can go both ways. For the purity-loving type, it’s flattering. For the worldly ones, maybe not so much — they’d rather be a Sagittarius, shooting arrows of adventure instead of cleaning up cosmic dust.

Taurus might take pride in being strong as a bull, Gemini loves that built-in twin support system, and Cancer… well, Cancer might just boil over and turn a little red when emotions run high.

And then there’s Scorpio — the one sign that actually enjoys having a mysterious, slightly dangerous reputation. Will the stinger strike or not? Only they know.

Aquarius, the dreamer lost in sci-fi thoughts, gets the award for “most likely to believe they’re from another galaxy.” Have you ever met a real Aquarius? Exactly.

If you grew up reading horoscopes in magazines, you know the drill.

There’s always a forecast telling you how your week will go, who you’ll fall in love with, and whether you should buy that new jacket or just meditate instead.

Pretty soon, you learn that people around you actually believe this stuff. They “know” who you are, how you’ll react — and the best part? You can learn just enough astrology to sound like an expert at parties.

Before long, you’re checking moon signs, compatibility charts, and thinking, “Okay, my next partner has to be a Scorpio. Or maybe a Taurus. Definitely not another Gemini.”

Then comes the big one — your full birth chart. Suddenly, the Moon isn’t just that glowing thing in the sky; it’s a whole mood.

And if your crush has their Moon in the wrong sign? Oh no. The relationship is doomed. No planetary alignment, no good vibes. Period.

But a true astro-wannabe doesn’t stop there.

You’ll be tracking Venus and Mars, saying things like, “Well, you know, Venus in a man’s chart shows the kind of woman he’s attracted to…” and watching people nod like you just dropped ancient cosmic wisdom.

You’ll talk about Pluto’s transits, sigh dramatically, and ask friends, “So… where’s your Chiron?”

Yeah. You’re in deep now.

Every sign has their own astro-wannabe style:

♈ Aries chases new planets and cosmic discoveries — always onto the next shiny thing.

♉ Taurus believes in astrology… but only when the horoscope promises something good (and preferably something they can taste).

♊ Gemini knows astrology has two sides — the mystical and the scientific — and enjoys debating both.

♋ Cancer reads everyone’s horoscope in the family, just to keep the emotional feng shui balanced.

♌ Leo wears their zodiac jewelry proudly — because if you’re a Leo, you show it off.

♍ Virgo can’t decide whether being “the Virgin” is a blessing or something they should reorganize.

♎ Libra wavers — one day it’s magical, the next it’s nonsense — but they’ll let others convince them anyway.

♏ Scorpio knows the secrets of the universe and smirks like they do.

♐ Sagittarius would totally rewrite the zodiac if they could — just for the adventure.

♑ Capricorn wonders, “Can I monetize this?” and probably does.

♒ Aquarius is already convinced astrology is the universal truth.

♓ Pisces dreams about their own star shining the brightest among them all.

And through it all, the true astro-wannabe knows the look matters — zodiac jewelry on point, cosmic colors in check, and always ready to say, “Oh, Mercury’s retrograde again, that explains everything.”

Because if your planets aren’t aligned, what else can you do but keep shining — and hope the stars are on your side?

The stars are aligning...

Stay tuned — my Tarot & Astrology course is almost here! 💫🔮

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