This is about learning to be small enough to be loved. About discovering that silence could be safer than honesty, that wanting too much meant losing everything. It’s about how affection can be used as a leash…how withholding becomes a language, and obedience starts to feel like intimacy.
I didn’t confuse control for love because I was naïve. I did it because I was trained. Because praise came when I disappeared, and distance felt like something I had earned.
This poem is not a confession or an apology. It’s a record. A naming of the moment you realise your hunger was never the problem…only the environment that taught it to beg.