Ive been in some situations in my life ,but this one. This one is making those look like a cake walk. Each day waking in my truck pushing through to pray and read my word. Always seeing the number 23. Which stands for death and resurrection. I have a gym membership that im still able to go to but refuse to use it to shower. the month running out. My bank is over drawn and getting charge day by day. My rations are almost gone. "Thats the rope",the physical. If I where to look at this like the apostles they too where ship wreck beaten and outta place. They to where rejected and cast out. Whats keeping me? Internet ministrys and prophets. Golly I wish I could just mak'em millionaires so I wouldn't some type of way not sowing. Being were i am , I understand why they ask. If you've made it this far don't pity me, ive done it to myself I let go of the job and the apartment. There where shadow cloaks and intense vibrations going in and out of the walls. When sleeping the vibrations where so intense I was drained. I even ended up sleeping with a woman out of wedlock. After two and almost three years of not hearing from my wife I fell. I did get back up and repent but I felt so bad about it I gave everything up in a slow process. I still dream a ton, probably due to me not listening to the Lord Jesus when im awake. Thank you'll for reading and praying. I really feel like a lost cause. I really need Gods hand like never before. the presence that no matter what I go through again I can settle in Him. God bless you all. Matt 6:33