4h • General discussion
The Right (+/- Request) To Intervene
The Right (+/- Request) To Intervene
Have you ever had the impulse to intervene on anything ever in your life? How about the urge to intervene in the life of another… have your interventions ever been welcome? What’s your percentage there, of how often people have thanked you for taking the time and effort to pay attention to them and their affairs? Versus how often have they told you some version of “mind your own business,” “oh so you have everything figured out now?” or “practice what you preach! (hypocrite!)”
In the western tradition, we are both materialistic (physicalist) and individualistic (meritocratic, DIY) in our baseline filters for how we see how things are and how they should be. So the idea of us intervening on others or others intervening on us is often high-friction. We have a problem with authority. We don’t like being told what to do. But I’d like to make a radical proposition. Being all up in each others’ business is actually exactly what we are here to do, with an important caveat.
Imagine what a person would have to be like for you to welcome their intrusion into your life. Indeed, for their entrance and introduction into your life to not even be experienced by you as an intrusion at all. I suggest there are at least 3 main pillars. First you want them to know what they’re talking about. Second you want them to have your best interest in mind. Third, you want them to say it in a way that is understandable and digestible to you. I mean you would like to understand what they’re doing, what they’re saying, why they’re saying it, how it’s going to help you, etc, ahead of time, rather than just trusting them on blind faith because their life is going well and they care for you. Those two things are important, but without that third element of transparency and rationale, we often lose to plot.
So now ask yourself, how do you measure up along those 3 axes, in the ways you’re interested in intervening in the lives of others? My main two jobs in life are as a parent and as an anesthesiologist. The anesthesia is easier. It’s both easier because I know what I’m doing and have lots of practice, and also because the people I’m treating are already pre-grateful for my intervention. The same can’t always be said about how my children feel.
More to be continued …
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The Right (+/- Request) To Intervene
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