17d • General discussion
Paid To Solve Others' Problems
Right now I'm speaking to the first two members of ASFLT after myself, inspired by the conversations we have had, and continue to have. All 3 of us are interested in how to serve others, be recognized and rewarded by others for the value we bring to them, and do so in a way that brings us most fully alive.
No one makes a living feeding and housing themselves, but we can all make a living feeding and housing each other. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs reveals to us that the ways we can feed and house each other go way beyond the physical. Food and shelter are the bare minimum of what people need, and since people's needs and wants are practically infinite, so is the market for what problems people will pay to have solved.
What the "attention economy" has made clear is that just like there is much more than food and shelter that people need to and can buy or rent ... there is much more that people can pay with, than just money. In fact, people are quite literally paying with their life, if you can accept that life is non-binary, meaning that you can give it up in bits and pieces, rather than only all at once. When someone gives you their time, they're giving you some of their life. If they give you some of their blood (think Red Cross), they're giving you some of their life. If they give you some of their money or their attention, or introduce you to some of their friends, they're supporting and promoting and defending and empowering you, by giving you some of their life. Thinking about it this way, life is synonymous with power, along with one of my many favorite acronyms, TEAM = time, energy, attention, money.
Let's think together, in this forum, about the kinds of problems we are comfortable either currently promising to be able to solve for others, or else the kinds of problems we can imagine ourselves one day being able to solve for others. We can start with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs if we need inspiration to start with. He says we have physiological needs - are you interested or capable of solving those for people? We have safety needs - are you able, willing and interested in providing protection to others against some form of insecurity? Perhaps even self-harm? Maybe you have an ability to get people to go from self-harming, to self-arming, to self-charming, as I like to to put it, and which we'll expand on in the future. Then Dr Maslow presents us with social needs, self-esteem needs, and self-actualization needs.
Those last 3, I'll put to you as a question of what it might look like for you to put yourself in a position to provide someone else's social needs, self-esteem needs, and self-actualization needs.
The way I see it, we have been too cornered and brainwashed by the DIY idea that everyone should be able to do things for themselves out of a combination of ego-pride, thriftiness, and a sense of "what will I do if there is an apocalypse?" Whereas in reality, right now, there are a functionally infinite number of people out there who are available to help us with whatever we need, along with an equally functionally infinite number of people who are out there looking for help. Ultimately I feel like the DIY neurosis of feeling like we can't offer help or ask for help, is more than anything, a product of mistrust. I find that people don't trust each other, feel alienated from each other, and are hesitant to be the first ones to make a move, out of fear of looking "cringe" or thirsty or desperate or whatever. But the quiet desperation persists while there is a mask of "everything is fine." Think of all the ways that certain people are able to provide other people their social needs, their self-esteem needs, and their self-actualization needs, despite the sentiment (common in some corners) that these are the kinds of needs which one person can't help another person out with.
Given the kinds of deep and vulnerable conversations I've had with the both of you, and which I look forward to the two of you having with each other, I feel this is the perfect nucleus of human capital to keep gently nudging this vibration of calm but persistent good will out towards the masses. There is ultimately no need to be poor, lonely, weak, miserable, guilty or bored, every reason to build systems and structures against this and similar such depressed states (we can be depressed and compressed and constrained physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, socially and morally ... and we can also be elevated and expanded and liberated across all 6 of those same domains).
I'd love to hear from you guys, either here in written format, or on a phone or video call, what kinds of problems you've solved for yourselves, what kinds of problems you think you'd be a good fit to solve for other people, and what kind of A System For Living Tough you have developed over the years. Much love!
I have a great reputation for consistently being helpful to those around me.
I would like to increase how well-known I am for being supportive in specific ways.
I don't have a reputation for being very helpful, but I'm not motivated to change this.
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Paid To Solve Others' Problems
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ASFLT - A System For Living Tough. We are here to learn to weather the storm of life. It comes at us in waves. Go from being drowned, to surfing them.
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