Step 1 – Pattern Awareness Drill
Next time you feel yourself stepping into “fixer” mode:
1. Notice what’s happening in your body (shoulders up, chest tight, stomach flutter).
2. Name it: “This is my survival role switching on.”
Step 2 – Grounding Reset
Practice 3 slow diaphragmatic breaths
- One hand on your chest, one on your belly.
- Inhale through the nose, belly expands.
- Exhale slowly through the mouth, belly falls.
Step 3 – Identity Shift Statement
Choose one:
- “I can still be safe without fixing.”
- “I’m allowed to care for myself first.”
Step 4 – Micro-Boundary Rehearsal
Role-play saying:
“That’s tough, I trust you to handle it.”
Practice until it feels less like rejection and more like respect.
The goal: train your body to tolerate the 'discomfort' of not fixing.
When the nervous system learns that nothing bad happens… the old role loses its grip.