Feb 20 • General discussion
Dear God
Dear God, yesterday was insane, I begged for You by name,
The drugs began, the sex ended, dark thoughts grew in rage,
This little life of mine went from furnace to a Bic flame,
You could step in any moment, change my life, yet You stay the same…
Silent on Your throne, omnipresent, but hard to be found,
Are my tears not loud enough, do they not make a sound?
Is my heart not shattered, veins not broken enough,
Do I add another inch just to prove that it’s rough?
Am I chasing the wind, waiting quiet, waiting still,
Overwhelmed with failure, wondering if You even will…
Why breathe life in me if it’s helpless and lame,
If God is love, does that mean that You’re also my pain?
I bowed my knee, I spoke Your name,
But everything around me stayed the same…
I’m screaming prayers into the rain,
Just hoping Heaven hears the pain…
Dear God, do You hear me when I’m breaking?
When the night won’t let me sleep?
I’m surrounded but I’m shaking,
Got a faith I’m trying to keep…
If You’re near, then show me something,
Send a sign, send me a flame…
‘Cause I’m tired of surviving,
And I’m tired of the pain…
Abandonment, embarrassment, disgrace my only friends,
Always saying sorry, tears been falling down my face,
Left a road from eyes to heart, I memorized the place,
Funny thing about my tears… they never walk away…
They kiss my cheeks, they blur my speech, they give me something real,
My vice ain’t crazy, I love my tears more than I love how I feel,
You never speak, You never move, You always do this thing,
Let me drown in all this silence while I’m begging You to sing…
My oil’s gone, my lamp is dim, here comes another storm,
Let it wash me like You always do, I’ll wake up something torn,
You shed blood for me, they said, well look what I became,
DNA from drunk nights, scars that whisper all my shame…
I never knew a heart could cry,
Until my innocence was gone…
Now my hope comes in prescriptions,
Trying just to carry on…
I bowed my knee, I spoke Your name,
But everything around me stayed the same…
I’m screaming prayers into the rain,
Just hoping Heaven hears the pain…
Dear God, do You hear me when I’m breaking?
When the night won’t let me sleep?
I’m surrounded but I’m shaking,
Got a faith I’m trying to keep…
If You’re near, then show me something,
Send a sign, send me a flame…
‘Cause I’m tired of surviving,
And I’m tired of the pain…
Dear God, do You hear me when I’m breaking?
When the night won’t let me sleep?
I’m surrounded but I’m shaking,
Got a faith I’m trying to keep…
I’m walking like Peter on waves of doubt,
Storms in my chest, I’m afraid I’ll go down,
Let me take steps, don’t let me drown,
If You’re really with me, don’t leave me now…
Omniscient, omnipotent, transcendent, divine,
So You know every thought, every scar that is mine,
Emmanuel, if You’re locked in this cell with me,
Send a kite through the bars, just remind me I’m free…
I wrote my farewells to my past and my shame,
To every Judas, every love I betrayed,
But somewhere inside all this blood and this fear,
There’s a seed still alive saying, “God, stay near…”
Whatever I sow in these rivers of tears…
Let me reap something holy after all of these years…
Dear God, I know You hear the broken,
Even when You don’t reply,
Every tear becomes a token
That You’re standing by my side…
If I fall, then pull me upward,
If I’m lost, then be my flame…
I don’t want just to survive here…
I want purpose from the pain…
Dear God, do You hear me when I’m breaking?
When the night won’t let me sleep?
Every tear becomes a token
That You’re standing by my side…
Now God talk to me…
Help me be still…
And know that You are God…
Even here…
Even now
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Dear God
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