Do you ever find yourself awake at 2 a.m. wondering if you’re still a recurring character in someone else’s story? My brain does this from time to time, usually starting with something specific like my Grad Night date at Disneyland in the late ’80s. I wonder if she ever thinks of me, or if I’ve been entirely edited out of her personal history. Then the spiral continues to former coworkers, old crushes, and people I haven't spoken to in decades. It is a strange realization that we all carry around these mental ghosts of people who have moved on to entirely different lives. I find the inevitable fade into obscurity kind of liberating. People get so worked up about legacies and being remembered forever, but I have decided to keep my final resting place a secret. If I am going to be the person, like 99% of the rest of us, whose grave eventually no one visits, I would rather just be a permanent mystery than a forgotten landmark. I have even put it in my will that my body is to be composted and distributed in a secret place known only to one person. Does your brain ever take you down these rabbit holes, or are you better at staying in the present than I am? (Image created with ChatGPT.)

You’re not alone just because you’re authentic. You’re alone because your authenticity has no flexibility. Yes — being real filters out fake people. But if it’s affecting dating, friends, and family, then it’s not just them. You’ve likely become: - Too rigid - Too quick to reject - Low tolerance, low warmth That pushes everyone away — not just the wrong ones. Real connection needs both: - Standards (don’t tolerate bullshit) - Calibration (know when to ease off) Keep who you are. But if you don’t adjust how you show it, you don’t just lose fake people — you lose everyone.