Name that feeling
One thing many of us were never taught growing up was how to properly identify what we are actually feeling.
When something painful, disappointing, or unfair happens to us, most of us go straight to anger.
We say:
- “I’m mad.”
- “I’m irritated.”
- “That made me angry.”
But the truth is, anger is often just the easiest emotion to grab. It’s the lowest hanging fruit. It’s the one emotion society has normalized reacting from.
The problem is that when we stop at anger, we may actually be mislabeling what we feel.
Psychologist Robert Plutchik created the Wheel of Emotions, which shows that our emotions are much more layered than we think.
For example, what we call anger may actually be:
- Feeling hurt
- Feeling rejected
- Feeling disrespected
- Feeling powerless
- Feeling betrayed
- Feeling frustrated
- Feeling disappointed
And what we call sadness might actually be:
- Loneliness
- Grief
- Disappointment
- Feeling unseen
- Feeling unimportant
When we don’t take time to accurately label our emotions, we end up reacting instead of responding.
But when we learn to name what we truly feel, we gain power, clarity, and emotional maturity.
As the saying goes:
“Name it so you can tame it.”
So let’s practice.
Becoming Her Exercise: “What Am I Really Feeling?”
Think about a situation recently where you felt upset, hurt, or triggered.
Step 1
Write down the first emotion that came to mind.
Example:
“I was angry.”
Step 2
Now pause and look deeper using the emotion wheel.
Ask yourself:
Was I really angry, or was I actually feeling:
• Hurt?
• Rejected?
• Embarrassed?
• Disappointed?
• Unappreciated?
• Powerless?
• Overlooked?
Step 3
Complete this sentence:
“When ______ happened, I thought I felt angry, but when I really sat with it, the deeper emotion was ______.”
Example:
“When my message was ignored, I thought I was angry, but when I really sat with it, the deeper emotion was feeling dismissed and unimportant.”
Community Reflection
Let’s grow together in emotional awareness.
Share (if you feel comfortable):
What emotion did you discover underneath your anger?
Remember:
Learning to properly label our emotions is not weakness — it’s self-awareness, healing, and growth.
And that’s exactly what we’re doing here.
Becoming Her. 💛
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Name that feeling
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