When You Stop Doing the Things That Saved You (and Forget Why You Started)
Earlier this year I was completely burnt out. I was finishing a demanding study path, doing long days of repetitive work, juggling family stress and money stress… and I got to a point where I genuinely thought about checking myself into a hospital just to rest. I was overeating, chain-smoking, exhausted, and my brain felt like it was wrapped in fog. Then I stumbled on a Jordan B. Peterson interview. He talked about his depression and how changing his diet helped clear things up. I recognised a lot of my own struggles in what he described and thought: “I’ve tried everything else. I have nothing to lose.” So I changed my diet. Within about six weeks my head cleared. The fog lifted. I started to feel like myself again. (Not medical advice, just my experience.) From there I rebuilt my routines: - listening to long-form conversations & lectures (Peterson, psychology, philosophy) - going to church — not from pressure, but because it forced my restless brain to sit still and reflect - winter swimming to reset my nervous system - mobility / stability workouts to get the “feel good” chemicals without addictions I’ve always been obsessed with human behaviour and psychology, so I turned that same curiosity onto myself: - What patterns am I stuck in? - What am I escaping from? - What actually keeps me stable? And it worked… For a while. How I Went Off the Rails If you read my “Emotional Guardrails for Overthinkers” post, that was about one concrete moment where I let a story in my head blow up a good connection. This post is about the slow road that led there. Bit by bit, I stopped doing the things that were keeping me grounded. Instead of: - podcasts & lectures during those “automatic” work hours - intentional reflection - my grounding routines …I slipped into: - looping certain songs on repeat - daydreaming instead of thinking - using fantasy to escape a painful reality at home (lack of support, family stress, illness, grief)