Jun 16 • General discussion
Oh my god what a day I have had
Spirit really pushed me today. I swear they were standing there laughing at me while everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Normally I would have thrown my hands up and said nope I’m done I’m not doing this. But today I sat in it. Every bit of it.
I’ve been working on something really important something close to my heart and you’ll all find out when the time is right. I had to write a script for it and honestly it was a nightmare. Every program I opened crashed or froze or shut itself down. I reckon I wrote that script 50 or 60 times. Two hours gone. Then Word wouldn’t work. Then copy and paste wouldn’t work. Nothing wanted to work for me.
Then I went to record it and the bloody program wasn’t even on my laptop anymore. So I had to download it again. Then Loom tried to tell me I needed to upgrade my subscription which I was not doing. So I jumped over to Zoom and did it there.
And then my printer wouldn’t work. I’m sitting there swearing at it thinking what now. Pressing buttons unplugging things doing everything except sacrificing a goat. And the whole time the cord wasn’t even plugged into my laptop. Spirit was laughing right in my face.
But the real thing today wasn’t even the tech. It was the tension in my body. The pressure. The emotions. Because what I was talking about today was the most vulnerable parts of my life. The deepest parts of my story. And that brought up a lot for me.
I could have walked away. I could have said no I’m not doing this. That fight and flight in me was loud. But I didn’t run. I sat with the tension. I felt every bit of it. I breathed through it. And I rose above it anyway.
It took me all bloody day to do something that should have taken an hour. But I did it. I kept going. And what I’m creating is coming.
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Oh my god what a day I have had
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