Oct 14 • Practices & Resources
Sorry for tonight’s live
Hey team,
Really sorry I missed tonight’s live. Started cleaning the plants and completely lost track of time 😭 I’ll leave the presentation & notes I had ready for tonight bellow:
the Guilt Detox
The Guilt Detox is about one thing:
feeling bad for the wrong reasons.
You know that feeling when you say no to someone, or do something for yourself, and suddenly
your stomach twists like you kicked a puppy?
That’s guilt. But here’s the secret:
most of the time, that guilt doesn’t mean you did something wrong.
It means you stopped doing what made other people happy at your expense.
1. What’s really happening
When you were little, you learned that being “good” meant making adults happy — doing what
they liked, keeping quiet, not upsetting anyone.
That’s how you got love and safety.
Now you’re older, but your brain still uses that same rule.
So when you try to do something just for yourself — take a break, speak up, say no — your old
brain freaks out and shouts, “Bad person! You’re letting people down!”
That’s guilt.
But really, it’s just an old alarm that doesn’t know you’ve grown up.
2. The main idea (the principle)
Guilt is misplaced loyalty.
You’re being loyal to your old role — the one who kept everyone happy — instead of being loyal to
yourself now.
The trick is to swap your goal:
• Stop chasing approval (making people happy).
• Start choosing peace (being honest with yourself).
3. The tool (the quick test)
Next time you feel guilty, ask these three simple questions:
1. Did I break my own rule or someone else’s?
2. Would I still feel guilty if nobody ever found out?
3. Does this feeling make me smaller or stronger?
If it makes you smaller — it’s fake guilt. Ignore it.4. The real-life change
When guilt shows up, don’t fight it.
Just say, “This isn’t guilt. It’s my old loyalty screaming.”
Take a deep breath.
Then do what feels honest, not what keeps everyone calm.
That’s the detox — you stop cleaning up everyone else’s mess just to feel loved.
5. The result
You’ll start feeling lighter.
You won’t apologise for resting.
You won’t say yes when you mean no.
And slowly, your life starts looking like your life — not the version other people wanted from you.
Simple truth:
You’re not here to be “good.”
You’re here to be real.
And real people sleep better at night
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Sorry for tonight’s live
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