A friends girl...
A friend of mine and i were talking about how his girl is kind of a prude in the sack!
Poor Girl. I told him he should find out if she truly isnt interested in things of the kinky nature. He asked me how to bring out her innerslut! Lol so I gave him a good answer!
Honestly, your instinct probably isn’t wrong. A lot of people are carrying around a tiny invisible church lady in their nervous system yelling “DIRTY” every time desire gets creative. 🫠
But here’s the important part: don’t frame it to her like she’s “broken,” “repressed,” or needs to be “fixed” into being kinkier for her boyfriend. That shit backfires fast. Nobody opens up when they feel psychologically cornered like a raccoon behind a washing machine.
The better question is:Does she genuinely dislike those kinks?Or does she feel shame, fear, embarrassment, loss of control, fear of judgment, etc.?
Those are wildly different things.
Some people authentically aren’t into certain stuff. Cool. End of story.But a LOT of people were taught:
- “good girls don’t do that”
- sex should stay “vanilla”
- wanting too much makes you trashy
- women are supposed to be desired, not desiring
- certain fantasies mean something is wrong with you
That conditioning gets installed early as hell. Usually before people even know what sexuality actually is. It becomes reflexive. Like psychological muscle memory.
So if he wants her to open up, he needs to stop treating it like:“How do I convince her to do my kinks?”
And start treating it like:“How do I create enough emotional safety that she can explore herself without fear of shame or performance pressure?”
Huge difference.
A few things that actually help:
- Zero ridicule if she says something vulnerable
- No pushing during intimacy
- Curiosity over persuasion
- Letting her lead sometimes
- Talking outside the bedroom, not mid-horny negotiation 💀
- Asking what turns her on psychologically, emotionally, aesthetically
- Exploring fantasy without expectation of action
And weirdly? Sometimes the gateway isn’t sex at all. It’s identity. Confidence. Permission. Feeling desirable without being judged for it.
That’s where your whole “find her innerslut” concept actually gets interesting philosophically. Not “be more sexual for men.” More like:“What parts of yourself got put in a cage because someone taught you they were dangerous?”
That’s a much deeper conversation than kink.
And yeah, honestly? A copy of Slutology could resonate IF it’s framed as exploration, not recruitment into Team Handcuffs™. 😂
Like:“This book talks about shame, labels, conditioning, and why people disconnect from parts of themselves.”
Not:“You need this because you’re sexually malfunctioning.”
One feels empowering.The other feels like an ambush wrapped in fishnets.
0
0 comments
A friends girl...
skool.com/slutology
A raw exploration of shame, identity, social conditioning, and labels.
Not sex education.
Human education
Powered by