19d • General discussion
I’ll do it later…
For years I thought I had a sales problem.
My boss diagnosed me with “call reluctance” and told me to pretend I was someone else.
It worked for a bit… but it never stuck.
Turned out I had a “Christopher” problem.
When I started a job cold calling, I treated the phone like it was a judge from Britain’s Got Talent.
I was convinced one wrong word and I’d bring generational shame upon the whole Dyson family tree.
So I’d sit there with my call list.
And I’d do everything except call.
Let me just check their website.
And Google their number.
And clean my desk.
And reorganise my desk.
And sharpen a pencil I wasn’t planning to use.
And obviously put the kettle on… kettles fix procrastination right?
Once I spent ten minutes staring at a pen to see if it “felt trustworthy.”
It didn’t. It was a pen.
Here’s the thing…
I wasn’t scared of people.
I wasn’t scared of rejection.
I wasn’t scared of selling.
I was following the childhood rulebook I grew up with.
“Christopher don’t interrupt.”
“Christopher don’t bother people.”
“Christopher stop being cheeky.”
“Christopher stop annoying that man.”
“Christopher for the love of God stop sticking that fork in the toaster.”
Great rules for keeping a child alive.
Terrible rules for hitting my targets.
One day it clicked.
I wasn’t avoiding the phone because the phone was scary.
I was avoiding the phone because Mum’s voice was still narrating my day… even though she wasn’t there.
I had brought her to the office with me.
Not literally.
Imagine explaining that to Barbara in HR.
But mentally she was right there.
Running the show. Calling the shots.
Keeping me in line like it was still 1989.
Once I saw it, things got better.
Not because I got braver.
But because I realised the voice I was trying not to disappoint wasn’t even real anymore.
Now every day it’s “Don’t Bring Mum To Work Day”.
I think less. I play more.
I make a mess and I’ll clean it up later.
And my life works a whole lot better when I’m not being micromanaged by ghosts from the eighties.
And it leaves me wondering…
What rules did your parents (or teachers) hand down to you that don’t matter today?
16
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I’ll do it later…
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