🪽Unfiltered Recovery Talk: Tackling Real Challenges

May '24 (edited) • Real Recovery Fundamentals

Understanding My Addiction -

Starting something new is always a bitch, right? Well, that's how it kicks off with our recovery program. The first chunk of this journey is all about healing. We can’t move forward without dealing with this part first.

In our program, some just go with their gut through this initial phase, while others need a clear-cut game plan. The reasons vary—some of you might be fresh to recovery, just having dragged yourselves out of the mud from your latest scrap with drugs. Or maybe you've been clean for a stretch but the ghost of addiction still haunts every corner of your life, showing you how powerless you really are. Sometimes, it’s the sheer agony of our situation that drives us back here, ready to try again. It’s about recognizing that our recovery is a lifelong trek—no finish lines, just continuous growth.

For many of us, understanding that addiction isn’t about moral failure but a real, gnawing disease helps us to get why we’ve hit rock bottom. For others, it's less about understanding and more about getting the hell out of the mess we're in.

Now, it's time to get our hands dirty. We need to jump into actions that actually pull us further from our addictions, no matter what face that bastard wears today. We're here to really grab hold of the basics—acceptance, humility, grit, and keeping it real—making these the core of who we are.

Surrender -

First off, surrender doesn’t come in one flavour. For some of us, the journey to even starting the first part of recovery was a brutal enough wake-up call. For others, it’s about reluctantly admitting that there might not be any other way out, even if we’re not fully convinced we’re screwed. It’s only when we begin to truly work this, that we see clearly: we’ve been kicked to the ground, and now, we've got to drop the act.

Kicking off means quitting cold—whatever shit we’re tangled up in, be it booze, drugs, or anything else that’s got us by the balls. The focus here is stark: we’re screwed because of our addictions, and if we’re ever gonna clean up our mess, we have to stop the chaos we perpetuate. It’s about nailing down actions that stop our self-sabotage in its tracks.

The Real Deal on Addiction -

It’s not the drugs that define us as addicts—it’s the addiction itself, a disease that screws with our ability to control not just drug use, but spills crap all over our lives. This beast of addiction is sneaky; it messes with our heads and makes us do things obsessively and compulsively, trapping us in a shitty cycle that only spirals down to physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional rock bottom.

-So, what’s this addiction crap really about for me?

-When has it kicked in so hard that I couldn’t ignore it anymore?

-How does it screw with my day when I latch onto something—do I think about the fallout? Or just bulldoze ahead without a care?

-And how many times have I acted out without a second thought, just following those same old destructive urges?

Reflect on this:

- How does being an addict screw with my life and the lives around me?

- In what ways has my body and soul taken hits because of my addiction?

We first come to grips with our addiction as something fixated on drugs, but over time, it morphs into other parts of our lives, revealing its ugly head in countless ways.

And how has this addiction been messing with me lately? Obsessed over someone or something to the point it’s messing up my relationships or my own peace of mind? How is it screwing with me on the inside—mentally, physically, spiritually?

Denial: The Liar in Our Heads -

Denial is that part of our addiction that bullshits us into believing we’re not really sick. It's when we play down the hell we're living, blame everyone else, and ignore the real damage we’re causing to ourselves and others. It's easy to think we’re doing better than we are, or that we're not as far gone as others—we make excuses, compare our shit to others, and lie through our teeth about why we do what we do.

Think about this:

- When have I lied to myself or others about my addiction?

- What excuses have I cooked up for my screwed-up actions?

- Have I ever thrown someone else under the bus for my own mistakes?

- Do I fool myself thinking, "My addiction isn't as bad as theirs, so I’m fine"?

Am I bullshitting myself by comparing my current mess to the "good old days" before I cleaned up? Am I kidding myself that I should’ve known better?

Getting Real About Avoidance and Recovery

Am I really getting the info I need to keep my addiction in check before it explodes? Or am I just dodging action because I’m terrified of feeling embarrassed when everyone sees the mess I’ve made? Maybe I’m just scared about people judging me?

Rock Bottom: Despair and Isolation -

Eventually, our addiction strips away all the bullshit and leaves us facing the brutal truth. All the lies and excuses we’ve told ourselves and others crumble, and we’re left staring down just how fucked up our lives have become. We see we’re out of friends, out of real connections, and living in a fake-ass version of love and intimacy. We might feel like everything is lost, but this is exactly where we need to be to start fixing our shit.

- What disaster finally pushed me to get help?

- What was the situation that made me seriously start this recovery phase?

- When did I first see my addiction as a real problem? Did I try to fix it myself? How did that go?

Powerlessness -

Let's face it, we often hate admitting we're "powerless" because it sounds like we’re weak. But recognising our powerlessness is crucial. It means accepting that our addiction is bigger than our willpower—it runs us, not the other way around. We can't control or moderate our use; it controls us. We keep losing more than we can afford—relationships, jobs, our health. We can’t just stop, even when it's clearly ruining everything. And every time we think we can manage or quit on our own, we end up back where we started, or worse.

We’ve all tried to kick the habit, maybe even had a brief clean streak. But without addressing the core issue—our untreated addiction—it's like pausing a bomb timer. Sooner or later, it resumes.

- What exactly am I powerless over?

- Have I done things while addicted that I swore I'd never do?

Facing the Real Shit: Maintaining the Mess

- What have I done to keep my addiction going, even when it spits in the face of everything I stand for?

- How do I turn into someone I can’t even recognize when I’m caught up in my addiction? Do I become a total asshole? A doormat? A manipulator? A whiner?

- Am I actually feeding my addiction? How the hell do I manage that?

- Have I ever tried to stop on my own? What happened when I did? Did I fold the moment things got tough because living without my vice felt like hell?

- Has my addiction pushed me to hurt myself or others?

Unmanageability: A Total Shit Show -

The First Part of recovery slaps us with two ugly truths: we're powerless over our addiction, and our lives have turned into a dumpster fire. Let’s face it, if our lives weren’t a mess, we wouldn’t be here. There are two kinds of messes we're talking about here:

1. The Obvious Messes: Everyone can see this shit. We're talking about the money, the job losses, the broken homes, angry partners. Some people have even ended up behind bars, lost touch with family, or can't hold onto a relationship longer than a few months.

2. The Personal Hell: This is the private crap that eats us up inside—our screwed-up beliefs about ourselves and our value in the world. We might feel worthless or believe it’s someone else’s job to fix us. We might dodge responsibilities or react like a volcano or a robot to anything stressful. That’s how we spot the inner chaos.

Think about:

- How has being out of control affected my job or school? My family? My friendships?

- Am I a stubborn bastard always insisting on my own way? What wreckage has that caused in my relationships?

- Am I blowing off other people’s needs? How has that selfishness messed up my connections?

Getting to the Heart of Responsibility and Reaction

- Am I really in control of my shit, or am I just winging it day-to-day? How does that chaos mess with my life?

- What happens when plans go sideways—do I lose my cool instantly? How’s that working out for me?

- When something tough comes up, do I take it like a slap to the face? How’s that mentality screwing with my peace?

- Do I always hit the panic button with every little bump? What’s the real cost of living like I’m always under siege?

- Am I turning a blind eye to serious red flags—maybe with my health or my kids—hoping it’ll just fix itself?

Facing Risks and Consequences

- Have there been times when I just didn’t give a damn about the risks because of my addiction? What went down?

- Has my addiction driven me to hurt others, either on purpose or by accident? Let’s lay that out.

- Do I throw fits or just shut down when things get too real, trashing my self-respect in the process? What’s that look like?

- Have I used drugs or acted out just to avoid dealing with my real feelings? What was I so desperate to dodge or dull?

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