Heyyyy cousins I been sooo busy this week but prayer will be held on zoom @6am est posting the link tomorrow.

Hi family, I need advice because I don’t have anyone to talk to, not family nor friends, so I’m just writing. Right now, I thinking about going back into the world, and being my old self, which is me being in control of my future and closed off to everyone. I am 17, working two jobs after graduating HS while completing college, and I’m off to college next month, and I feel like my mental, spiritual, and emotional health is rapidly declining because of too much complaining that comes from my family. At my medical internship, I feel like I’m always doing something wrong. I hate to be the only person to pursue God because my dad came from a family that were “Christians”, so he’s always talking about his problems to me and he always rely on me to do the praying, anointing the house, talking about others and keep saying “that spirit this” or “monitoring spirit that”, and it’s tiring. With all this plus more, I am always maladaptive daydreaming or fantasizing about my life, including lustful thoughts, because it’s my escape. I can’t go to God because I know the consequences of my iniquities can hinder my prayers to Him. I don’t want to give up on God even though I am at a breaking point because He’s done so much for me, but also, I feel myself drifting each day, if not, I’m already drifted away because of my increasing resentment toward my family.