I keep missing lives , so a little more about my story .

I’ve always wanted to build community.

In 2013 I ran outreach groups for kids from community centres using music and sensory play. The area I lived in had a high rate of underage pregnancy, and so I wanted to show women and young girls that children were not a chore — they are a joy.

That being a mother isn’t a burden to bear. We can all come together and support each other.

However, this was a struggle to achieve and for not-so-nice reasons I had to transition out of doing that.

However, I manifested a large building — it was huge. I’d been wanting it for a year and finally I got it, and I also got it for free for a year.

I had set everything up — a drop-in stay and play creche for kids offering sensory activities, mums’ self-care, massage, meditation in soundproof rooms I’d had built with local builders donating time and materials.

I had a shop front space where young mums could sell their products and help boost their businesses. I held children's groups and women's groups and educational offerings too.

Then I was about to start on the downstairs, with the focus being single or dads and their kids, with more active activities like a small mini bmx track called Dirt Tracks and Diesel, a food area, a boxing area, and more.

However, as the year passed and I was almost set and just about to get funding, my son was born — and the shop’s owner passed away. The brother who took it over took it all away from me.

And wow, did that hurt.

I had postnatal depression triggered by the loss of all that I had built up. And boy did I feel broken — my marriage was not good either; there was drug abuse and aggression and etc etc.

I managed to keep myself up and going on until the day I woke up and left.

Over the years my kids, and kids in general, have been where I’ve have and also wanted to help and support — because they deserve so, so much.

But my own journey led me to solely being mamma to my own. I had to retreat almost from the world and pour everything into home due to our domestic situation.

Until years went by and finally it settled. Even then, I was alone and pushing every day until I broke a little bit .

I ended up in hospital with a suspected stroke — it wasn’t, it was something more complex. I spent time in a wheelchair, I couldn’t hold conversation, I was having seizures all day, and all I could do was lay in bed and stare out of my window watching life pass me by.

Until I decided — er, no, what on earth am I doing? I don’t choose this. I choose more, my kids needed me i was the only one even in the state of health I was in who was there for them in a healthy way , those trying to help (family)- were controlling, judging and suppressing and even while I was unwell this was almost a battle and also an opportunity for childhood trauma to be looked at x

And so I’ve been recovering and rehabilitating ever since.

I’m not in the health I once was, but I’m still here and going.

And since April I’ve decided to begin to share my world with others — to be a living example of realness and of awareness, and to hopefully support children, even the inner child of everyone, and yeah, just share and spread light and love.

I’ve only been doing this for some months, and I have to pace and manage my health around it as well as supporting and raising three amazing little people who are now 14, 13, and 10.

My New Earth is about people coming together in love and conscious awareness — supporting each other and being there for children, letting them be, play, grow — letting them have connection and everything that is the natural, organic way we should all be.

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