7d • Happy Hour
A thought on marriage today
Do you ever find yourself feeling resentful or like your doing more in the household than your spouse? Right now (as many of you know) my kiddos are sick, and as a mama you know that means you are gonna be doing the nurse duty and the late nights along with your normal duties like the cooking and the cleaning etc. I caught myself a few days ago feeling exhausted from the lack of sleep and stretched thin and I’ll be honest for a minute a little resentful like “he should be helping more in the night when they are sick” but then I caught myself. It’s easy to feel like you’re doing it all when you’re not considering what YOUR PARTNER is also doing. If he did the late night sick time would he be as prepared and rested for that important work meeting? Would he be energetic enough to use his break time to take the car serviced? Since he did get more sleep he’s all the more willing to do the grocery shopping after work, and grab takeout so I don’t have to cook.
I hear women all the time complaining or comparing their load to their husbands load, which I know we are all guilty of, myself included 👋🏻 but it’s important to remember that we BOTH have a load to carry and if we can have a discussion of what we can do to help each other during these types of days (sick kids etc) we can be a great team. But if one parent is silently harboring feelings of out performing the other as a result of being tired and over stressed it’s only going to drive a wedge and cause resentment. Sometimes I need to remind myself how lucky I am to have the partner I have who shows up, works hard, provides for this family without complaint, and while his load looks different than mine, it may not be late night temperature checks and administration of meds, it is full of long meetings, stressful decisions, and trying his best to still let his family know we matter most to him. We are a team. We chose each other to walk this life together. Some days are harder than others but that’s when we need to lead with appreciation for the portion of the load they carry along side us so we don’t have to carry it alone, rather than knit picking the hour more of work you did here, or he did there.
The take home: in marriage remember your on the same team, work together, there are days you carry 60 he carries 40 , and there are days he will carry 70 you carry 30. When I’m stretched thin I want to try to lead with appreciation rather than resentment, and if needed, simply have a discussion to say “hey is there any wiggle room for you to take maybe 10% more here because I’m feeling stretched thin”. No one’s a mind reader, communication is key.
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A thought on marriage today
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