Jun '24 • Anything else <3
My SSP journey Session 1
This is my first catch-up note to talk about my experiences launching into SSP. So this is from my first session on May 20th.
Total listening time: 6.5 minutes
We started this session with 5 minutes. During the first 5 minutes, as I colored in on a coloring book, I noticed that I was having some visual sensations. The lines in the coloring book were getting sharper and my vision was jumping around the sharpness if that makes sense. No other sensations during this first 5 minutes. I then felt like doing another 3 minutes. Halfway through, per Gazit's instructions, I paused the music as I was having a noticeable physical sensation. The tops of my shoulders were getting tense. I recognized this tension as a somewhat constant companion in the last 10 years of my marriage. The best I can describe it is a feeling like someone was pressing down on the tops of my shoulders. There is shame and dread associated to it.
For the two weeks that followed, I had a noticeable pressing and uncomfortable feeling on the tops of my shoulders on and off. Mostly on. More of a dull ache than a direct painful experience. The two weeks were very externally focused in terms of my attention. I was noticing a lot of separation between objects in front of me. People standing out from their surroundings. Both in pictures and in real life. Almost like they were a 3D object popping out of their surroundings. I was walking my dogs down the street and the same thing happened with the houses that were beside and in front of me. They looked separate from their surroundings. It was a very intensively creative two weeks, with a deep feeling of intimacy with those around me.
I began to feel an intense connection between experience, creativity, and intimacy that was very much a triad that together grew into unconditional existence/love. This has become a new exploration for me.
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My SSP journey Session 1
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