20d • Reflections
When Life Teaches You to Flow
Here's the thing about making plans.
I came into 2026 ready. Like, ready ready. I had my goals mapped out, my content batched, my intentions set. I was going to hit the ground running.... build the community, launch the program, show up consistently. I felt that familiar buzz of momentum, that "let's do this" energy that comes with a fresh start.
And then life said: "Not so fast."
First, the dog I was babysitting went missing. A windstorm blew the door open and she was just... gone. Two full days. The longest two days of my life. I was in the middle of hosting the Root to Rise immersion trying to hold space for other women to ground and come home to themselves, while my own nervous system was in complete overdrive. Searching the streets of Bali, calling her name, posting everywhere, barely sleeping. She came back eventually, but I was wrecked.
Then I found out the apartment I'd planned to live in for the entire year? I have to move out in February. The place I'd just settled into, where I'd finally unpacked my altar and arranged my space exactly how I wanted it, and now I get to do it all over again.
And between those two things, a dozen other small disruptions. Plans shifting. Things not going the way I thought they would. The kind of month where every time you think you've caught your breath, something else comes up.
I used to spiral when this happened.
I used to think it meant I was doing something wrong. That I wasn't aligned. That the universe was testing me or punishing me or blocking me somehow. I'd panic, try to control everything tighter, force things back on track.
But here's what I'm learning (and re-learning, because these lessons keep coming back until we truly embody them):
Life doesn't care about your plan. It cares about your growth.
And sometimes growth looks like learning to trust when everything feels uncertain.
So instead of fighting it, instead of white-knuckling my way through January, forcing myself to stick to the plan I made when the year was still shiny and new, I softened my grip.
I let myself feel the frustration. The disappointment. The exhaustion of things feeling hard when I wanted them to feel easy.
And then I asked myself: What if this IS the lesson?
What if Janurary was about learning to flow when life pulls the rug out?
What if trust isn't just something you practice when things are going well, but especially when they're not?
This is what feminine energy actually is.
Not the aesthetic. Not the flowy dresses or the moon rituals (though I love those too). It's the ability to move with what is, instead of forcing what you think should be.
It's the deep knowing that even when life feels chaotic, you're still held.
It's trusting that the disruptions aren't detours, they're part of the path.
And you know what? There was something profound about being asked to hold space for women in their rooting practice while my entire nervous system was screaming. Because that's the work, isn't it?
Learning that you can be dysregulated and still show up.
That you can be in the middle of chaos and still trust yourself. That grounding isn't about never feeling shaken, it's about finding your way back to center even when the ground beneath you is moving.
So here I am at the end of January, writing this from an apartment I'll be leaving soon, and you know what?
I'm okay.
More than okay, actually. I feel grounded in a way I didn't at the start of the year when I had all my plans in place.
Because here's what I've remembered:
You can't control life. But you can trust yourself to move with it.
That's the practice. That's the work.
Trusting. Flowing.
And showing up anyway.
A beautifully chaotic journey is exactly where we're meant to be.
So if your January didn't go the way you thought it would, if life threw you curveballs, if your plans fell apart, if you felt more chaos than grounded, me too.
Maybe that's just life reminding us: we're not here to control everything. We're here to trust ourselves through anything.
***** Reflection Prompts*****
- Where am I trying to control instead of trust?
- What would it feel like to soften into uncertainty?
- How can I practice flow when everything feels chaotic?
- What is my nervous system asking for right now?
I'd love to hear what came up for you in January, what you're carrying forward, what you're releasing, what you're learning about trust and flow in your own life.
Share below if you feel called. 💫
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When Life Teaches You to Flow
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