When You Miss Who They Used to Be

There are days when caregiving feels less like a role and more like a split in time —the version of the person you remember, and the version you’re caring for now.

I’ve been thinking about my mom today. Not the mom I supported at the end of her life…but the mom who shaped mine.

The mom who waited in the car line and waved when she saw me was the best part of her day.

The mom who sat in the bleachers at every volleyball game, cheering so loud it embarrassed me — and secretly made me feel invincible.

The mom who was my first phone call, my first safe place, my first audience for every story.

The mom who always answered when I called her name…or who I searched the whole house for when she didn’t.

I miss her. And sometimes that ache surprises me.

Caregiving isn’t only about what we’re doing now. It’s also about grieving the “before.”The version of our parents who held us long before we ever held them.

If you’re feeling that way today,I want to hear from you.

Who was your person before caregiving found you? What’s a memory you hold close — even if it hurts a little?

You can share as much or as little as you want. This is a soft corner of the internet —and you don’t have to navigate this part of the journey alone.

We’re here. And we see you.

Always,

Kelli 💕

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