I wish a god, any god, would show themselves to me. At least then I'd have an idea about what sort of structure our reality consists of. I flail in the dark, trying all sorts of different belief systems. I like asking myself; what if? What if this idea from this religion were true. Lately, I've been exploring Gnosticism. I don't know if the monad exists, but I ask myself what if it did. I live a couple weeks as a gnostic and it feels more right to me than any mainstream religion has so far. I remember perfection, It may be an ideal. Something I hope is true but maybe not what is. I think; that's what faith is. You should believe whatever makes you happy because ultimately nothing can vindicate those beliefs, other than, maybe, death. Even then, who knows.
If you found I used too many commas please comment below.