23d • General discussion
The Strategy of Joy
We never focused on sight words; it was always about the love of the story. In a world that is obsessed with metrics, levels, and early achievement, we took a different path. We treated reading not as a skill to be mastered, but as a fun experience to get lost in. Storytelling and reading were never about “reading”—they were about the magic of the story.
When we read, I never turned it into a challenge. I never put her on the spot or said, “You can do it, keep going,” while she struggled with a word. I didn’t want the mechanics to interrupt the anticipation. She knew she was just reading a book with her mom, not doing a reading lesson. Instead, I just picked up where she got stuck and let her continue when she felt confident. I was there to keep the story moving, not to test her ability.
Sometimes she just sat and listened to me read; sometimes I just sat and listened to her read. It wasn’t about the act of reading or who was doing the work; it was about the story. I remember laughing so hard at Fox in Socks—it was our favorite. Those words were repeated and read so many times with fun and laughter that I never had to worry about whether she was memorizing them. She could recite the book without even looking at the words. I simply instructed her to follow along with her finger to identify the words as she read.
As she grew and started reading chapter books—Captain Underpants, Daughter of the Pirate King—that rhythm stayed the same. We would lie in bed together, and I would just listen to her read. If she got tired but still wanted to know what happened next, I would continue reading for her. There was no pressure to finish the page or prove endurance. The story always came first.
It isn’t an ironic coincidence that she has always been two grades ahead; it was a precise strategy. This didn’t just happen. It was designed. I intentionally focused on the joy of learning over the mechanics of the task.
I remember when she started writing papers in 7th grade and struggled to keep a thought moving. It would take her a long time to get anything down. So, we turned it into a game. We wrote sentences together, one word at a time. I’d say “Bob,” she’d say “went,” and we would go back and forth.
Sometimes I would intentionally derail the line of thought. She might expect the next word to be “to,” but I would say “up.” She would have to laugh and redirect her mind to a new ending. It taught her that there is always something new to say—always a new way to end a thought. We changed the stress of the blank page into the excitement of a game. When you protect the fun, the progress follows naturally. She still uses these games as a foundational strategy today as she enters 10th grade.
Where is your child struggling right now? Can you identify an area where you are putting a particular amount of pressure? Pressure does exactly that—it restricts. It restricts learning, it restricts fun, and it restricts the relationship your child has with learning and with you as a parent.
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The Strategy of Joy
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