27d • General discussion
Writing Fast Requires Loose Outlines
When I outline a full book, I generally keep things loose. I outline beats, not scenes. When I start writing each chapter, I'll write an outline for that chapter, but I'll still keep it loose. I'll show you an example of what my outline looks like vs. what the chapter looks like. CONTENT WARNING: It gets weirdly explicit about frog mating.
The Outline:
Carmen screams at her to stop. She does, but in the moment she'd touched him, she'd felt his pain and panic, his desire to be a frog and his hijacked system still trying to be a man...for her. SHe knows what she has to do, but she doesn't know if she can do it. DenBear and Carmen are brainstorming, DenBear thinks she should try again, Carmen is explaining that it could kill Thurston. Meanwhile, Tanisha is trying very hard to turn into a frog.
Nothing happens at first, then it happens all at once. Next thing she knows, the edge of the tank is several feet above her head. She has a momen of doubt, then sees the mutilated Thurston and jumps. Carmen catches her mid-air & her instincts tell her she's about to be eaten. She pees on Carmen, who releases her after DenBear tells her to.
As a frog, she goes to Thurston and imagines very hard that she wants to mate with him. She has his attention and he's not screaming. She turns around and kicks in his direction, then posts herself up on a rock, ribbiting that she's ready for him.
*Margin note: female frogs don't ribbit, adjust.*
He reaches for her but his human arm is heavy & clumsy in the water. He struggles for a while, clearly contending with the sedative as well as his betwixt form. He eventually grabs her with his froggy arm and she gets a rush of informaiton about his intentions.
He slowly transforms into a frog and clings to her so tightly she doesn't know if she can dislodge him. He starts to cum down her back & she starts to panic, thinking she'll kill him if he goes too far.
*Margin note: why isn't she panicking about getting pregnant?*
He loosens his grip and she gets away. He shakes himself and chases her but he's clumsy and slow. She remembers that he's sedated and gets out of the tank pond as fast as she can.
*Margin note: why didn't the team intervene? He's hooked up to monitors!*
She jumps out and Carmen catches her, then almost drops her because she's covered in slime. Denbear ends up catching her in a towel because he knows better. Thurston has passed out in full frog form and Carmen gets him to a safe place in the pond.
Tanisha is embarrassed to bve a frog in front of Denbear, but she's mortified at the thought of him seeing her naked again.
*Margin note: He's seen her fucking, she should be more embarrassed about that if she's embarrassed about him seeing her naked.*
She manages to shift and wrap the towel around herself all at once. Denbear gives her a smile that's no teeth and all eyes. It makes her happy and flustered all at once. Carmen declares that Thurston is stable and that they should check on Milo. Denbear hesitates, he doesn't want to leave the girls alone, but doesn't want them to see Milo the way he was when Denbear left him. They go together and Denbear tells them to wait outside. Milo isn't there anymore. Denbear decides that's a good thing.
*Margin note: Story is going flat. Stop here and write, see where the story wants to go.*
So clearly, I wrote that by hand, hence the margin notes. I find that outlining by hand is easier for me. Not only does it flow easier, but it's easier for me to refer back to when I'm actually writing. Though, as you'll see in a minute, I tend to barely glance at it to remind myself of the important parts, then I pretty much just write and see what happens. Read on to see what I mean:
The Chapter:
Episode 4
“Stop, stop!” Carmen’s words were barely audible over the machines screeching and Thurston screaming, but they did the trick. Tanisha let go of the frog-man’s hand. Thurston still writhed and screamed, the machines still beeped maniacally, and Tanisha’s head was full of Thurston’s terror.
He was afraid…of her.
Carmen jumped into action with a pump syringe full of some kind of white, sticky powder. She plunged it into the air just above Thurston’s face and it covered his skin, slowly absorbing through his mucous layer.
“We have to sedate him more,” Carmen said frantically. “Oh, but his heart rate is–”
“Wait.” DenBear put one massive hand on Carmen's shoulder, stopping her in her tracks, and gave Tanisha a startlingly intense look. “What did you learn?”
Carmen frowned up at him. “What do you mean? You saw what just happened, she touched him and–”
“Yes,” he interrupted. “She touched him. So, Cordata…what did you learn?”
“He's terrified,” Tanisha said, hugging herself against a shudder. “He wants so desperately to be a frog, but it's like his brain has been hijacked. Like he's being forced to be sexually appealing to a human-shaped person. He's fighting that with all his might, and he's so scared. Of me.”
DenBear shook his head slowly. “No, he's not afraid of you. He's afraid of you in that shape. He wants to be a frog. So, make him a frog.”
“She can't touch him again, it'll kill him!” Carmen wrestled herself out of DenBear’s grip and glared way, way up at him.
“You're right, she shouldn't touch him,” DenBear said. Then he smiled with his eyes at Tanisha. “Not looking like that, anyway.”
Tanisha nodded and gulped. She didn't want to, but she knew she had to. This was her fault, after all.
“It's all about perception,” she murmured, squeezing her eyes shut. “How I want to be perceived.”
Instead of focusing on herself and her own body, this time she focused outward. She focused on Thurston and the depth of his desire to be a frog, to be with other frogs, to be with a froggy mate. She focused on DenBear’s desire to see her change, to be proven right. She focused on Carmen’s desire to fix Thurston. She breathed their desires in and allowed them to shape her from the inside out.
When she opened her eyes, she was staring way, way, way up at them. Her elbows were tucked delicately behind her massive knees and her ankles were flexed like never before. She was slimy, but that didn't bother her. What did bother her was the feeling of eggs heavy in her belly, eggs that were in dire need of fertilization. Without a second thought, she jumped over the thick plastic barrier and into the false pond.
As soon as she splashed into the water, she heard him. It was a pathetic sound, like a drunk man pretending to croak like a frog, but she decided that it would do for a love song. She opened her mouth to answer, then hesitated. That felt wrong.
I wish I’d ever once wanted to know anything about frog mating practices, she thought in frustration as she climbed onto a rock that protruded from the water. Or the mating practices of…whatever I am. Can he fertilize my eggs? Are they even real eggs? Am I going to have a bunch of tadpoles to take care of?
“Don't overthink it.” DenBear’s voice boomed, startling her, and her body reacted on its own. An instant later, she was deep at the bottom of the pond, staring up at Thurston’s mangled body.
Fine. I won't overthink it. Hell, why think at all?
It took a little practice and a lot of willpower, but she managed to turn her thoughts down enough to feel her instincts. She rubbed one sticky hand over her round belly, feeling the cluster of eggs through her thin skin. Thousands of eggs, all ripe for fertilization. All she needed was Thurston.
She kicked off the bottom of the pond and slowly approached Thurston, who was still croaking weakly. He could sense her even through his sedatives, even through the horror show happening in his mind. Was it instinct, or was there some kind of magic in the bond she formed with him?
Don't overthink it, she reminded herself. She swam close enough to brush up against his human hand, which flinched away from her. Following her instincts, she turned her back on Thurston, crouched on a rock with her head barely breaking the surface tension, and…ignored him completely.
This can't be right. I'm supposed to be seducing him, not giving him the cold shoulder–oh!
One froggy hand gripped her waist. It didn't feel right to her frog brain. It was too loose and lackluster and not at all impressive. She almost jumped away before she stopped herself.
A little thinking can't hurt, she decided. He's sedated. This is what I'm here to do.
She waited patiently as his hand slipped off of her again and again. She could feel his frustration growing with every swipe, his desire for her intertwining with his desire to be a frog, and then, all at once, a sense of overwhelming relief.
Two froggy hands gripped her waist. As he settled clumsily onto her back, she could feel that parts of him were still human. That knowledge overrode her intentions and she jumped away from his appendage, sinking deep into the pond where she could hide. From there, she watched him flail angrily, trying to swim with a human foot and an erect human cock haphazardly stuck on his body.
You gotta want me more than that.
She rubbed a hand over her swollen belly again. She was full to bursting and he was leaking sperm into the water. It tasted like Man, which kept her frog brain stuck in hide mode. Arguing with herself got her nowhere. Her body refused any directions that took her closer to the massive spear of sexual destruction.
He stopped flailing. He floated, looking dead from where she sat. Damn it. Did I kill him anyway? Panic started to set in, then she heard it.
He croaked. Her frog brain found it satisfactory. He croaked again, and this time his penis began to shrink, retracting into his body. His foot flexed, shrank, elongated, and turned green. He wasn't fully back to himself-she could see irregularities in his abdomen as if oversized organs were straining to break through his thin skin-but he was no longer a danger to her.
She kicked off the floor and swam back to her rock, finding a new position in which to ignore Thurston. He croaked, more rhythmically now. She waited. Slowly, painfully, he moved toward her.
There was a familiar arrogance in his touch this time. Even with the sedatives, even through the horror, Thurston was a cocky son of a bitch. He held her tight and settled against her, ribbiting his pleasure as he ground against her skinny ass.
He came immediately, slowly, and constantly. That sense of relief grew stronger, and with every passing moment, his grip tightened, and his body pressed more naturally against hers. He was becoming himself again.
With the relief came a rolling blackness at the edge of Tanisha's consciousness. It wasn't hers, she knew that much, but it worried her. It was creeping closer with every pulse of Thurston's abdomen, with every beat of his heart. Then his fingers slipped, and every cell of her body was screaming that that was wrong. Frogs don't slip, not when they're locked on. His arrogance faltered and a beat of fear rattled them both. A shadow swept over them, then suddenly Tanisha's back was empty and cold.
“That's enough,” DenBear’s voice boomed. He held them both by the backs of their heads, one in each hand.
“Sorry, buddy. Doctor says you're not healthy enough for all that just yet. And you, young lady…good job.”
Tanisha heard a splash, then DenBear placed her gently down on her clothes. Though he'd just seen her engage in some carnal amphibious activity, and even though he'd already caught her human-shaped and naked, the idea of shifting in front of him embarrassed her. She wondered if she could manage to get her clothes arranged around her in a way that she could just sort of slip into them as she changed.
She crawled between her top and her bottoms and splayed out in an approximation of humanity, then let herself get swept up in Carmen's excitement and anticipation. She wanted to talk to her and debrief about Thurston, and Tanisha couldn't very well do that with a frog mouth, could she? She focused on that desire, that need, and she became the person Carmen wanted her to be.
She didn't quite manage to get her top over her breasts before flashing everybody, but it was fine. At least she'd managed to cut down the time spent fumbling with her clothes, and made it a mere flash rather than a whole show.
Back in her human form, she looked down at Thurston. He didn't exactly look healthy, but at least he looked like a sick frog and not a collection of random body parts. Carmen was busy gently affixing bulky stickers to his skin.
“He ripped the monitors off when he decided to go after you,” she said, giggling. “I swear, a couple of times I thought you were giving up on the whole mission, what with turning your back on him and running away and all, but I guess you know what you're doing.”
“Not really,” Tanisha admitted. “I just let the frog take over.” She rubbed a hand over her flat belly and felt a little ill. “Hey, so…he couldn't impregnate me, could he?”
DenBear's eyes twinkled as he snorted a laugh. “Little late to be asking that question, isn’t it?”
“Oh, god.” Tanisha buried her face in her hands. “What will they be? Am I going to have tadpoles? How do you even take care of tadpoles!?” A shudder ran over her whole body as she thought about giving birth to slimy tadpoles and she retched.
“Knock it off, Denny. Be nice.”
DenBear laughed at Carmen's scolding, then shook his head.
“You're not pregnant,” he told her. “You can't be. Chordates can't mate with shifters, their eggs or sperm just consume the eggs or sperm of the shifter.”
Tanisha's head snapped up. “Cordata,” she corrected, then asked, “What about humans?”
“Why? Got a boyfriend out there somewhere?” Carmen’s voice was teasing, but there was a shadow of jealousy in her eyes. Tanisha decided to put a pin in that for later.
“No,” she said. “I'm wondering about my parents. I figure my dad is whatever I am-”
“Chordate,” DenBear said.
“Cordata,” Tanisha corrected again, getting a little annoyed. “Anyway, since his sister was like me, I figure he is too, but what about my mom?”
DenBear and Carmen exchanged glances.
“It's a little different with humans,” Carmen said slowly. “Do you know how you were conceived?”
“Ew!”
“No, I mean, was it natural or invitro?”
Tanisha opened her mouth, then closed it again. “I don't actually know,” she said. “Nobody ever told me anything, I just assumed it was natural.”
“You should ask your mom,” Carmen said solemnly. “There are ways for your kind and humans to make babies, but it takes a lot of work and technology. Hell, you could probably apply the same methods to shifters, but as far as I know, nobody's tried.”
Tanisha touched the spot where her necklace used to hang and swallowed hard. It was in this crazy house somewhere, she'd make a point to find it.
“I can't ask her,” she said quietly. “She died a long time ago.”
“Oh! I didn't know, I'm so sorry.”
Tanisha shook her head. “It's fine. But I'm not going to ask my dad, so I guess that's a mystery for later. You said my kind…what is my kind, exactly?”
“Chordate,” DenBear said again.
Tanisha, finally fed up, whirled on him. “It’s Cordata! Cor-dat-a! What is your problem, anyway?!”
He looked at her with a long-suffering gaze. “Your name is Cordata.”
“That's what I've been telling you!”
“Your species,” he continued, raising his voice slightly, “is Chordate.”
A shock ran through her. “Oh.” Then, “Wait. My family is named after my species?”
“Haven't you ever met someone named Mann?” Carmen asked. “Same idea.”
DenBear gave Carmen a look that Tanisha couldn't quite interpret. Carmen flushed and busied herself with some medical equipment.
“Well,” DenBear said before Tanisha could think of how to ask what that was all about, “we should probably go check on our fox friend.”
“What about him?” Tanisha asked, gesturing at Thurston.
“He's stable,” Carmen answered. “Thanks to you. He'll just be sleeping until the sedatives wear off.”
“Meanwhile, Milo got hit with a metric ton of your mental fuckery,” DenBear said with a hint of simmering frustration. “And I saved your ass.” He gave Carmen a pointed look over the top of his glasses. She blushed furiously, looking guiltily at the floor. “So now Milo is last on our immediate list.”
“Immediate?” Tanisha asked as she trailed behind DenBear out into the burrow.
He nodded. “You wreaked havoc on the forest. Might be injured out there. Can't depend on the deputy to handle it, he was affected too.”
“Oh.” Tanisha walked behind him in silence for a while. “Am I in trouble?”
DenBear stopped in his tracks so quickly she almost ran into him, then turned to her with the most serious of looks on his face.
“Yes,” he said. “But we're going to take care of it.” He gave her a long, hard look until the silence stretched into something almost tangible.
Tanisha finally nodded. “Okay,” she said quietly.
“Okay.” He nodded with a certain finality, then turned and kept walking.
Carmen had caught up to them and was walking beside her. There was something comfortable about her being there, and Tanisha had to fight the urge to hold her hand.
“You can trust him,” Carmen said under her breath. “There's nothing he can't fix if he has enough time and resources.”
“That's almost true,” DenBear rumbled back at them. “But you don't want to encounter the things I can't fix.”
Tanisha gave Carmen a worried look, but Carmen just rolled her eyes and smiled. Okay, maybe DenBear was a little dramatic. Or maybe he wasn't and Carmen was just trying to ease her mind. She hoped for the former, but was sorely worried that it was the latter.
DenBear brought them to a carved stone staircase wide enough for an elephant to climb comfortably.
“Are there elephant shifters?” Tanisha asked.
Carmen gave her a strange look. “Well, yeah, but not here. They don't like boats as a rule, and are too big for planes as adults. Why do you ask?” There was a layer of suspicion in the question that Tanisha didn't pick up on right away.
“These stairs,” she answered. “I can't imagine what else would need stairs like this.”
“Moose,” Carmen and DenBear said simultaneously.
A cold chill went down Tanisha’s spine. “Moose get this big?”
“They're massive,” DenBear answered. “I know a guy who can step right over your car without stretching his legs.”
Tanisha gasped. Carmen looked at her with a strange kind of heat in her eyes, her mouth pursed in something like disappointment.
“That's terrifying,” Tanisha said by way of explanation.
“Right,” Carmen said tensely.
******
This chapter isn't finished yet, but I've pretty much run down the length of the outline. I don't know what's going to happen next, but now I have a couple of subplots to work with. Carmen's jealousy. The existence of shifter Moose. Tanisha's missing necklace. I have also had the opportunity to drop some facts that are sitting in my notes but hadn't made it into the book yet, namely that Tanisha's mom is dead, that Tanisha is a known species named Chordate, and that Chordates can't mate with shifters or humans naturally. We also suspect that there is more to Tanisha's name than they're willing to tell her, and we don't know for sure what Tanisha's genetic makeup is, but we have a better idea about her relationship (or lack thereof) with her father.
If I'd tried to include all of these things in the outline and stuck to the outline faithfully, the chapter would have ended up expositional and forced. This way, the subplots and fact drops come out naturally, and now I have more to work with when I outline the rest of the chapter. Outlining like this keeps the book interesting to write and captivating to read. Speaking of reading, if you want to read all three previous episodes for free, you can find them at patreon.com/hannahshannon.
If you found this comparison helpful, please let me know. I'm more than happy to post more examples like this as my own story develops.
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