I wanted to share developments with two men I met online recently:
1. R. and I have many things in common and were enjoying daily video calls for a few days. I didn't balk when he called me sweetie; didn't tell him not to. He told me right away that his only income at present is disability and he'll be starting part-time work soon to save for a car. Anyway, he told me an untruth in one conversation and confessed the next day that he lied; hoped it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I told him that I appreciated his honesty and it would be a deal breaker if it happened again. He asked me to lunch when he gets his next check. I explained that I'd be on vacation, but it could be when I get back. Our conversation on Sunday made it even more clear how strained his resources are, and that is not a situation I'm comfortable with - been there before with a few partners. Yesterday he messaged that he'd sensed some reserve and thought it was about the honesty hiccup. I said that without being critical or judgmental, I'm not comfortable with his financial situation and that it wouldn't work out for us. In his profile, he stated that he wanted to be told if the woman didn't feel that he was dateable, so I told him. I believe that I said it gently, but was true to my values/boundaries.
- D. and I have only had some brief messages on an app. He asked me out for coffee or a walk and suggested the date and time. Asked me for suggestions where to meet in my area. That is happening tomorrow. Nice change. We'll see how it goes.
I'll be on vacation and will miss the next two group calls. My best to all in the group.
Jo Ann